Ubisoft's Plan to Fail on Wii U

Ubisoft wants to make money. I think everyone can understand that. After all, it is hard to run a business when you’re not making money. Recently, Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot declared that Watch Dogs would be the last mature game released for the Wii U. His reasoning is that Wii U owners don’t buy “mature” games. Sounds like a reasonable statement. I haven’t seen the charts on Wii U sales for games like Assassin’s Creed IV, but I bet they’re not good. Unfortunately, Yves Guillemot’s reasoning isn’t as sound as he would like. There is another reason why Nintendo fans don’t buy “mature” games on the Wii U, and it has more to do with Ubisoft than anything else.

Ubisoft has released a lot of poor, sub-quality ports of “mature” games for the Wii U. Indeed, the company is playing the part of the sad friend while acting like a disinterested party. In examining the history of Ubisoft releases on the newest Nintendo platform, shocking similarities begin to emerge. Let’s take a look at some of the big “mature” releases, starting with the Assassin’s Creed series. Assassin’s Creed III and IV were released for the Wii U. Assassin’s Creed III was actually a launch game. Let’s look at how well Ubisoft handled the marketing:

Hmmm, there is one console missing there. I wonder how come no one would buy it for Wii U, looking at this billboard?
Hmmm, there is one console missing there. I wonder how come no one would buy it for Wii U, looking at this billboard?

Wow, way to showcase the release on a new console, Ubisoft! Fun fact: I could not find a single billboard or poster that advertised the Wii U version. All I could find were media-created mockups like this below:

AssassinsCreed3_WiiUWell, that was Assassin’s Creed III. I’m sure when it did not sell well on the Wii U, Ubisoft’s marketing department re-evaluated their strategy and bolstered Assassin’s Creed IV sales!

There's the special PS4 edition, did the Wii U get a special edition?
There’s the special PS4 edition, did the Wii U get a special edition?

It did not. Not only that, before the game was released – Ubisoft revealed that the Wii U edition would receive no dlc. That’s right. Hypothetical question: why would any gamer buy for that system, knowing that their purchase will not be supported? Ubisoft, I think I’m starting to see more clearly why people aren’t buying your games on Wii U.

But wait, there’s so much more! Let’s talk about Splinter Cell: Blacklist!

If only there were two screens!
If only there were two screens!

Again, before the game was released – Ubisoft declared that there would be no offline co-op available for the Wii U version. Strangely, online co-op was included. Well, I guess that makes sense. I mean, it’s not like the Wii U has two screens by default – making it a great system to explore co-op on. It’s not like that’s the case at all. Starting to see a pattern, Yves Guillemot? Good, cause I’m about to predict the future:

Watch Dogs will not sell well on the Wii U.

The Wii U is not even getting Watch Dogs until November, months after it’s been available on other platforms – but that’s not all! Loyal Nintendo gamers will be rewarded for the patience with – wait for it – NO DLC for the Wii U version! It is so staggering to understand why people would not line up to buy a crappy, incomplete port of a six-month old mediocre game. Man, I guess mature gamers just don’t like Wii U! Or wait – that’s not it at all, is it?

The real question is: if you're going to do such a poor job, why bother?
The real question is: if you’re going to do such a poor job, why bother?

Well, Yves Guillemot might counter that not enough Wii Us have been sold! Ubisoft has stated that they will release more Wii U games when more systems are sold. Well, so far over 7 million Wii Us have been sold. That’s millions more than Xbox Ones – yet Ubisoft isn’t threatening to cut off support to Microsoft. So much for that being a valid reason.

At least Ubisoft is not being foolish enough to sit on completed Wii U games, instead of releasing them to make a profit. Wait – they are? Not really seeing the logic in that one, what with this being the year of Mario Kart 8 and Super Smash Bros. It would be like if they said that animating female characters was substantially harder and less important than animating male ones. Wait they did say that – oh fantastic!

Ubisoft, if you don’t like working with Nintendo – just say so. It’s not like they are a perfect company, everyone knows they have serious handicaps when dealing with online infrastructure. Just stop all this “we’re trying to help” attitude and making outrageous statements like Wii U owners don’t buy mature games. Smart gamers don’t buy your mature Wii U games – cause they’re kinda sh*t.

Too bad it doesn't look like there will be a Zombiu 2. That game was actually pretty good - still could have used some dlc support though.
Too bad it doesn’t look like there will be a Zombiu 2. That game was actually pretty good – still could have used some dlc support though.

Weekly Wrap-Up (Mar. 2-8): Oscars, Trailer Park Boys, Watch Dogs, Sanctions, and More

Here is the news recap from the past week:

1. The Oscars happened.

Yeah, really not much to report here. Gravity won a lot, 12 Years a Slave won the big one, rich and famous people celebrated themselves for being rich and famous, and the internet got to hear yet another rendition of “Let it Go“.

Haven't seen the movie yet but I'm sure it's deserved.
Haven’t seen the movie yet but I’m sure it’s deserved.

2. Netflix renews Trailer Park Boys for two more seasons.

I loved Trailer Park Boys. It was a great show (the lovely Ellen Page got noticed there). That being said: seven seasons, three movies and a Christmas Special were enough. The jokes have gotten a bit tired and those guys must be getting on in years. Two more seasons, Netflix? Yeah cause everyone just loved it when you brought Arrested Development back.

Fun fact: this show started in 2001.
Fun fact: this show started in 2001.

3. Watch Dogs finally gets a release date.

After being unveiled two years ago, Watch Dogs inches closer to reality. No word yet on when it comes out for the Wii U. Here’s hoping Ubisoft can match the hype they’ve created around this game.

Remember when everyone was hyped up to play Watch Dogs? Remember 2012?
Remember when everyone was hyped up to play Watch Dogs? Remember 2012?

4. Idris Elba to voice Shere Khan in Disney’s new live-action Jungle Book adaptation.

Idris Elba is a bad ass. In my opinion, this guy should be playing Lex Luthor in the upcoming Superman/Batman movie (sorry Social Network). There have already been a number of adaptations of this particular piece of Kipling. Time will tell if this version will be worth it.

Get ready for more cg tigers (Life of Pi needed company)
Get ready for more cg tigers (Life of Pi needed company)

5. Nintendo gets fancy with a “blue shell” edition of Mario Kart 8.

Maybe next they’ll make an edition of Wii U with adequate game support.

Perfect to throw at your friends while you're racing!
Perfect to throw at your friends while you’re racing!

6. Obama tours the United States to gain support for raising the Federal Minimum Wage.

The President embarks on yet another hard fought battle to do something that 99% of the population wants.

Seriously people, freaking Canada is beating us on this one. Are we going to let Canada beat us... outside of Olympic hockey?
Seriously people, freaking Canada is beating us on this one. Are we going to let Canada beat us… outside of Olympic hockey?

7. Russia – everyone is sanctioning that shit.

Again: still don't approve the use of children, even if it's an opinion I agree with.
Again: still don’t approve the use of children, even if it’s an opinion I agree with.