Hi guys! As you can see we’re trying something new with this episode. Please give it a watch and let us know what you think!
Also: excited to announce that I will be attending PAX East this Sunday, and I’m looking forward to bringing you all the insights that I discover there!
Another day, another article expressing disappoint in Nintendo.
Yesterday marked a special Nintendo Direct, one devoted to revealing details about one game and one game only: Super Smash Bros. (for Wii U and for 3DS… this game needs a better title). For thirty-nine minutes, Nintendo talked and for thirty-nine minutes, I listened. I cannot say it bored me to the point where I shut it off halfway through, but one thought was materializing in my head as I listened: I should be more excited than this. Not the first time I’ve had that thought during a Nintendo Direct. The one before the “special Smash Bros. edition” also didn’t catch my attention too much either. The focus of that one: Mario Kart 8. Hold on, Mario Kart? Smash Bros.? These two series are nothing short of awesome and arguably the best things coming out from Nintendo these days. I think both games will be great, I already own a Wii U, so why don’t I really care?
There is one than one reason but the main problem is this: too safe. My main reason for sticking with Nintendo, despite their numerous problems, is their creativity. I believe that this is a company that does not simply make games to make money. Call it naivety, call it romanticism, but I really do believe that most people who work at Nintendo are passionate gaming artists who like to make fantastic worlds never before seen (and impossible to exist in the real world). You know: people who are excited…. but these games don’t sound exciting.
Scratch that, Mario Kart 8 started out as a really cool idea. A racing game that allows players to break gravity to compete along the walls and ceilings? Suddenly all the courses change, all the options change: the game encounters a fundamental change. New and different, pushing the boundaries of gameplay: this is why I love Nintendo. But that wasn’t what they talked about last time Mario Kart 8 received a Nintendo Direct. Koopalings, and a late-May/early-June release date. Yay.
This coming on the heels of an announcement made by the current Nintendo President, Satoru Iwata, that the Wii U would not experience any more periods of drought between big titles. Oh, good to know that I’m just imaging the three months between the release of Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze and Mario Kart 8. Also, seriously koopalings? I say this as a longtime fan of both Mario and Mario Kart games: who cares? Yeah, each racer performs a little differently in Mario Kart, but more racers just sounds like “hey, why don’t know how else to separate this game soooooo you can play as even more obscure Mario villains! Remember Super Mario Bros. 3? Man, we were so cool back then!”
If Nintendo had chosen to focus on the new video recording feature in Mario Kart 8, the one that (I believe) let’s racers record their highlights and post them online to the Miiverse, now that sounds more interesting. The internet, that fad that Nintendo seems to believe will die out any day now, represents a gateway to a lot of interesting changes that they could be implementing into their games.
Let’s go to Smash Bros., a series that I really love. One of my favorite gaming announcements ever was the reveal of Solid Snake in the first Super Smash Bros. Brawl trailer. It represented such an insane new direction for the series: characters I would never have expected to be in a Smash Bros. game may now be in a Smash Bros. game… except that was it. Nintendo has never since matched that excitement with any Smash Bros. announcement that has occurred since then.
Sonic? Who cares, he is a dying figurehead of Sega. I guess it’s kinda cool, for nostalgic purposes. Even Mega Man, who hasn’t eroded his reputation the way Sonic has, has also faded from the current video game world. At the time that Brawl was announced, Sony was touting the new Metal Gear Solid game. It was like Nintendo had snatched away all of their thunder with one announcement: “yeah, cool you have a Solid Snake game but can he fight Mario in it?”
The announcement rippled out past Nintendo circles to affect the industry. I guess this is the point I have been driving at: who, outside of Nintendo and their diehard fans, cares about all these new announcements?
Yesterday Nintendo revealed that Charizard and Greninja would be joining the Smash Bros. roster as new characters. Cool, more Pokémon… exept Charizard was already in Brawl and who really cares about Greninja? Take a good look at that Pokémon, doesn’t he remind you of someone?
Yeah, Ryu Hayabusa, of Ninja Gaiden fame, might not have been quite as exciting as Snake, but his inclusion would have gotten a lot more people invested. Instead, Nintendo crafted a Smash Bros. reveal that left me thinking: “boy, there sure are a lot of Mario, Zelda, and Pokémon characters in this game, I wonder what series are selling best for Nintendo right now?”
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe people have looked at these past two Nintendo Directs and have been swayed into purchasing a Wii U. That is the point after all: to generate excitement (which equals dollars) for Nintendo’s struggling console. I just don’t think they’re really doing that.
Dear Weather.com,
First of all: thank you. As the media world adapts to the changing mediums in technology, it is nice to see a new, streamlined version of the weather forecast. Gone are the days where I had to watch fifteen minutes of crappy local news, just to catch a glimpse of what might be happening outside my window that week. Those forecasts, despite their peppy weather… people (what’s the word for weathermen and weather-women?) were often very general, as they could not record a forecast for a specific area, but rather had to cover the region. Not that this method didn’t work, it simply led to more mistakes. People expecting snow might get nothing while those looking forward to flurries would instead take a blizzard to the (metaphorical) face.
Thank you, weather.com, because now I can get a forecast tailored to my town. What’s that, I can get an hourly breakdown? Hold the phone – a summary every fifteen minutes. You gotta be shitting me! Wow, weather.com, you are amazing. An improvement over the old ways in every sense… well, almost every sense. Let’s look at your homepage:
Okay, looks good. I have a temperature readout for several areas (available in both Fahrenheit and Celsius) and an active map of an area seeing a strong weather pattern… that’s all pretty bitching. Wait – what… adorable sleeping animal photos? I – what? 20 year-old dies of exposure… that’s bad I guess… was it from severe weather? The fuck is up with that spider?!
Yes, weather.com, while your information is fantastically applicable and usually very accurate… you really have to work on your website design. See, in the old days (and still now, actually), when weather people wanted ratings: they jazzed up the weather. Every bit of snow became the next super blizzard and hot days became DAAAAYUMMM hot days. It feels like you’re trying to compensate with these stories. Eye-catching, eye-catching! Look at us! That’s what they scream. Wouldn’t be so bad… if they all weren’t pretty stupid.
Now this wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t on every page. Seriously, like every. single. page. on. your. website. What’s the point? Why do I need to know about cute animals. Actually, let me rephrase that: why do YOU need to tell me about cute animals. I already have imgur (pronounced im GRRRRRRRRRRR) and youtube, what do you really think you can do for me that they can’t? No weather.com, you have one job.
If you feel the need (and really, why do you?) to compliment your pages with additional information… well, could you at least make it relevant? That sixteen year old dying, that’s horrible but it has nothing to do with educating me about the weather. You’re WEATHER.COM! I expect two things from you: inform me of the weather and educate me on the weather. Your current links do no such thing. That’s pretty sad when there is amazing free information out there on the internet (it’s the fucking internet after all). Like look at these:
Took me all of two seconds to find those and it didn’t cost me anything. Plus that last one is Bill Nye. BILL NYE. Here’s a rule: if you’re an educational website – make Bill Nye available to your browsers. Seriously it’s not rocket science. Although, if you wanted to learn about rocket science, I’m sure Bill Nye could teach you.
I say look to Google. Google isn’t flashy, Google doesn’t try to keep people on by reading stupid stories. People go to Google because it helps them find the information that they want. If that information is weather-related, Google should be directing them to you.
“But,” you say, “we have to be flashy! People can get forecasts anywhere! We need to stand out!”
Yes you do – but not as that awesome weather site with the really stupid links sprinkled in! You’re not a cool website, you are never going to be a cool website (sorry). You’re where people go when we want the weather. Give us that, in copious amounts we could never hope to fully digest… but give us only that. Please, you’re embarrassing yourself right now.
Thanks for listening Weather.com
Sincerely,
One voice on the Interwebs
Colin McMahon 