Living with Anxiety and Panic: Getting Informed on a Most Common Mental Illness

My name is Colin McMahon, and I suffer from Anxiety. To be more specific, I suffer from Panic Disorder, a rarer and more extreme condition. While this level of anxiety is rare, the mental illness itself is not. It is expected that as many as 40 million people suffer from some form of anxiety in the U.S. alone. When I was diagnosed with anxiety… well, to be honest – I knew before I was diagnosed.

My first panic attack was a wake-up call that was hard to ignore. For those out there who are unfamiliar with panic attacks, I have created a video to help demonstrate what exactly they can be like (at least in my experience):

Others have written and drawn their experiences. Panic attacks appear to be one of the most wonderfully awful things on the planet. Essentially, chemicals in the brain activate the fight or flight response, or the system designed to keep us alive in life-threatening situations. Unfortunately, this often happens in situations that are nowhere near that extreme. Something as simple as leaving the house can become twisted by Panic Disorder until the mind genuinely fears for its life. The good news is that a panic attack is not dangerous, and treatments do exist for any out there seeking help.

Unfortunately, like most disorders, anxiety and panic attacks work in cyclical nature.
Unfortunately, like most disorders, anxiety and panic attacks work in cyclical nature.

I am actually not writing this article to discuss panic attacks. While terrifying, yes, there are not the only real complication that can arise from anxiety. I would like to tell you that I’ve known that fact for a while and am just now deciding to share but the reality is I am writing this because I could not believe how ignorant I was over a condition I have lived with for years. In the past week, I have been given the opportunity to look carefully at my actions, and I have been shocked at how much I have learned.

I wish I could laugh at the ridiculousness of this, but I have had nearly identical thought patterns myself. As loopy as it sounds, it feels real.
I wish I could laugh at this, but I have had nearly identical thought patterns myself. As loopy as it sounds, it feels real.

Anxiety and Anger: Yeah, turns out there’s a correlation. I’m still too new to this stuff to write about it properly so I will just provide some helpful links. For those wishing to understand the general correlation: click here or here. To learn helpful coping strategies, try this article. To see the link with depression: here.

Anxiety and Insecurity: This one should not have surprised me as much as it did. Everyone has insecurities on some level, but those with anxiety have to be more careful. We’re already prone to over-think situations and this can create a warped perception of events, as well as spiraling into unwarranted feelings of worthlessness and depression. I will admit, I have been an insecure person my whole life and it is at least semi-comforting to have gained a new understanding of why that is and, more importantly, what I can do to manage it. For those looking for some help, I recommend here and here.

Anxiety can twist ideas with the best intentions. When you have low self worth, you're driven to go out of your mind to please people - especially if that person matters to you.
Anxiety can twist ideas with the best intentions. When you have low self worth, you’re driven to go out of your mind to please people – especially if that person matters to you.

Anxiety and Relationships: You know, when I look back at how judging I have been of others with mental illnesses in relationships, all I can feel is shame. I honestly don’t know how I went over a year without asking “how is this daily condition going to affect my love life?” Well now I know, and if you have anxiety and are in a relationship: do yourself a favor and get educated before you hurt someone you care about. Here is link to how anxiety can affect relationships. Here, here, and here are links to for the other side. Yes, you lucky ones out there who get to date us nervous Nellies. How long has it been since that term has been used outside the Simpsons?

Anxiety is insecurity, fear, and distrust. A powerfully damaging compilation in any relationship.
Anxiety is insecurity, fear, and distrust. A powerfully damaging compilation in any relationship.

Oh, and here’s a general one for family and friends.

I apologize for all the links and lack of content, but as I said: most of this is new to me. A mental illness is never an excuse to mistreat someone, so please if you or someone you know has anxiety – get educated. I promise to do my part with fuller articles in the future. In the meantime, hope you enjoyed my video!

anxiety

Ten Fighters You Should Vote Into Smash Bros.

Every time a Smash Bros. game is announced, part of the fun is guessing who will be in it. There are safe bets like Mario, Link, Kirby, and Samus, but there are also internet hopefuls. Well, now – for the first time ever – Nintendo is letting us pick. Yes. Yes. Yes!

Now loyal customers or perhaps just those rare few people with the internet (Nintendo still doesn’t know the internet is a thing apparently, just ask Mario Party 10) can vote for the next fighter. Simply go to this official ballot site and cast your vote. All you need to know is your gender (cause girl votes only count for .8 of man votes), the character you want, which game they came from, and why you want them. In terms of knowing your gender… I can’t really help you beyond providing this guide. Figure it out?

Okay, well if that’s as far as you got before getting lost, here are some ideas for Smash Bros. Some are safe, some are reaching, all are possible. Maybe. Power to the people! Yay!

1. Goku (Dragonball Z: The Legacy of Goku for Gameboy Advance)

I’ll start off with the Kotaku push. For those out there who don’t know – how do you not know? Goku has been around for ages. He is so popular that, even if you don’t watch anime, you’ve likely still seen him around. The Saiyan fighter seems to be a natural fit in a fighting game.

People want Goku so much that they've already added him to Smash Bros.
People want Goku so much that they’ve already added him to Smash Bros.

2. Paper Mario (Paper Mario for Nintendo 64)

Okay, the argument against this guy is that we shouldn’t have to vote for him. Why isn’t he already in the game? Like seriously, we got Dr. Mario as far back as Melee but Paper Mario gets no love. That’s too bad because, unlike his P.H.D. bragging counterpart, this Mario could actually warrant an original move set.

Paper Mario waiting his turn to appear in Smash Bros.

3. Bayonetta (Bayonetta 2 for Wii U)

If the Nintendo universe were not so devoid of sexuality, Bayonetta would probably already be in the game. Still, it comes across as kind of a dick move by Nintendo. Newcomer Platinum Games loves working with Nintendo after all. They made Bayonetta 2 a Wii U exclusive. Monolith Soft made Xenoblade Chronicles an exclusive and Shulk got to be in the game. Sounds kinda sexist there, Big N.

Bayonetta: the character who could single-handedly raise the age requirement.
Bayonetta: the character who could single handedly raise the age requirement.

4. Shovel Knight (Shovel Knight for 3DS/Wii U)

Why would not want to play as a knight wielding a shovel? Also the fact that this game has been one of the biggest indie hits for Nintendo should count for something. Let’s get Shovel Knight to dig in (haha get it?).

And he fits with Nintendo's anti-violence message!
And he fits with Nintendo’s anti-violence message!

5. Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 4 for Gamecube/Everything)

Speaking of cashing in a favor, remember the Gamecube? Remember Resident Evil 4: that sick once-exclusive for the Gamecube that got everyone excited for Resident Evil again? Yeah, let’s give Leon his due. His move set would be unique, and maybe we could also get a cool cultist village level to fight in.

Leon's already enjoyed a crossover with Lord of the Rings, why not Nintendo?
Leon’s already enjoyed a crossover with Lord of the Rings, why not Nintendo?

6. Batman (Batman for NES)

Because what isn’t better with Batman in it?

Pretty much the only reason you need to vote for him.
Pretty much the only reason you need to vote for him.

7. Aang (Avatar: the Last Airbender for Wii)

Yeah, of course I’m going to promote more Avatar: the Last Airbender. Apart from that though, just think about it. Think about how much Aang would fit into Smash Bros. and how cool his move list would be. Did you think about it? All right, now make it happen.

With your help, Aang can finally be rendered with a mouth.
With your help, Aang can finally be rendered with a mouth.

8. Bomberman (Bomberman 64 for Nintendo 64)

We already got Mario, Sonic, Mr. Game & Watch, Pac-Man, and Mega Man. Poor Bomberman is feeling left out. Besides, it would be fun to have someone with continuous access to high-powered explosives.

Bomberman needs more love.
Bomberman needs more love.

9. Rayman (Rayman Legends for Wii U)

Seriously, this guy has a trophy in the game. How is he not already in the game? HOW?! Nintendo and Ubisoft need to fix their stupid argument and make this a reality.

He's already a trophy! This is the hugest tease ever!
He’s already a trophy! This is the hugest tease ever!

10. Godzilla (Godzilla Unleashed for Wii)

Because Godzilla needs to fight everybody. It is his destiny. This was my vote.

Super_Smash_Bros_Godzilla_1989

Bonus: Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th for NES)

Cause f*ck Mortal Kombat X. Nintendo should get him too.

Be sure to specify that you want the purple Jason.
Be sure to specify that you want the purple Jason.

The Era of Good Judging

Judge (V):to form an opinion about (something or someone) after careful thought

: to regard (someone) as either good or bad

If there is one dominating philosophy in culture today it is “don’t judge me bro.” People hate being judged by others, and with good reason. When one examines the prejudice of the world, one sees that a lot of it comes from unfair judgment. Gays can’t get married, why? Religion judges it as not right. A woman should not be president, why? (some) Man judge woman as unfit for president. Prejudice, prejudice, prejudice. Well, thank god the new movement is away from judging… right? Turns out not really. When one examines the world today, one finds judging alive and well. From food choice to lifestyle choice to opinions of people we will never meet: we judge everything. I know I am guilty of it.

But is judging necessarily a bad thing? Well if you’re not judging… then it can’t be bad. Judging, like many actions, exist without any connotation. To label judging as good or bad is in itself to create a very restricting label. It’s wrong to judge. Can there be a more ironic statement?

Human beings (myself included) are not as perfect as we like to pretend these days. Look no further than the recent news regarding the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah. Well, I’m sure you’re as shocked as I was to learn that Noah is a human being and has made a mistake in his years of life. I know, it truly is front page material.

Trevor Noah, ladies and gentlemen. He said something offensive on the internet,,, what a world shaker.
Trevor Noah, ladies and gentlemen. He said something offensive on the internet,,, what a world shaker.

It is simply silly to look at all the lists on why you shouldn’t judge others. I can’t get over it. A list that says you should not judge, because judging is bad (what?!). To be fair, they’re not saying all judging is bad, they identify primarily the judgment of other people. Okay, fair enough. Let’s look at some images:

marriagerallyOkay, hard to look at that without forming some kind of opinion. Let’s try this:

Prop 8Odds are, you just judged one group of people, even if it was just for a second. I know I did. Let’s look at it though, on the surface it seems straightforward: the group on the top is better because they simply want equality and what is even that argument from the group below? But such a judgement is quick and shallow, as most online writings will tell you. I don’t know where the people in the lower list came from. I don’t know how they were raised. I identify with the people in the top picture because I want equality. In a sense, my act of judging the two pictures is simply a judgment on myself. I support one set of ideas and not the other.

Judging someone might be bad, but judging their opinions might not be. Then again, are we all simply our opinions?
Judging someone might be bad, but judging their opinions might not be. Then again, are we all simply our opinions?

This in itself is not a bad thing. By looking at what we judge in others, we are looking at what we judge most in ourselves. This can help us gain a sense of identity and look ahead to areas of improvement. That said, there seems to be a fine line between types of judgment. For example:

Hitler did a horrible thing.

vs.

Hitler did a horrible thing and he’s a bad person because of it.

I feel that there is a profound difference in these two statements. In the top one, I identify that I don’t agree with Hitler (yay me). In the second, I state that I don’t agree with Hitler AND I label him as something different from me. I’m going to guess I’m not alone in being someone who doesn’t think of themselves as a bad person. I feel that, by putting Hitler in the “bad person” label, I have said that I am not like him.

I feel like healthy judging comes with an admittance of humanity, and the ability to view us all as one race of traveler.
I feel like healthy judging comes with an admittance of humanity, and the ability to view us all as one race of traveler.

Well… that would be great except I am like him. I don’t mean in terms of political and moral alignment, but I am a human being. I was raised in a family, in a country, and with a set of values. Hitler had a family too. He did not spring from the womb mid-goose step. This does not mean that Hitler is above reproach. Indeed history has already judged him harshly. This judging is not bad. I think I speak for most of the world when I say that no one really wants to see another person do what Hitler did. Does most of the world not wanting it make it right? I do not know, questions for another day.

Regardless, since I deem myself (and myself only) incapable of not judging others, at least to some extent, I feel that the dialogue on judging needs to alter. I know I am not the only one out there who admits to judging. I mean, we can all admit that excessive judging of any kind is bad… as is excessive anything. That is what excessive means.

Personally I do not feel that judging to learn more about oneself is a bad thing. To look at another human being and ask “would I be happy if I were more or less like them” is not the worst question ever to entertain. That said, I feel like labeling, like labeling Hitler a bad person, is excessive judging and goes too far. We reduce the other person to something less than us, and in that way we never look at ourselves.

I feel like silent judging is another more negative type of judging. If someone has a problem with me, I much prefer they say it to my face. Not much changes by scowling my way.
I feel like silent judging is another more negative type of judging. If someone has a problem with me, I much prefer they say it to my face. Not much changes by scowling my way.

Likewise, the last type of judging I will touch on is tough love. This means that we act harshly towards another to help them on. Hmmm, kinda getting into dangerous territory here. Tough love almost sounds like it implies that we know more than the other person. Well, this is not innately negative because sometimes… we do! A parent knows more than the child (usually). A teacher knows more than the student (usually). To say that the idea of tough love is wrong is to say that we can learn nothing from the other people on this planet. While it is true that no one will ever know you better than you, it is also true that no human being is an island.

I will admit that, as well as I know myself… I do not know myself completely. That means I do not know fully what I am capable of, I do not know fully who I am. It is in human nature to perceive ourselves as “good.” Most of us want to be, I know I do. I want to feel like I am always doing the right thing, even when I might not be. In that vein, it is good to have someone else inform me of my shortcomings, even when I don’t ask for them. I don’t know about you but I probably do not ask for what others perceive as my shortcomings nearly often enough.

To go without learning from other people is to think yourself better than them.
To go without learning from other people is to think yourself better than them.

I will volunteer this: look on others and judge as often as you would like them to look on you. Hmmm, I believe there is a famous book that says something similar. It just seems silly to view judging as this evil action… while judging so often on such a daily basis. Maybe we need to reconsider the idea of weighing people on the scale. Let’s just make sure we put ourselves on there too if we’re going to.