The year is 1994 and DIC Entertainment is looking to recreate the magic of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Their brilliant “new” idea: four teenage brothers are transformed by a mad scientist into half-human, half-shark hybrids. Each of the four brothers has a different personality, but all are radical in their own way. So is born: Street Sharks!
Let me tell you about Dino-Riders. It is f*cking amazing.
There are dinosaurs with freaking laser beams attached to their heads. I’m not lying. Produced in 1988, Dino-Riders was a TV show that (exactly like Transformers) existed to sell toys. What kind of toys exactly? Have a look:
Oh and in case you’re wondering what the heck is riding the dinosaurs? Let me tell you:
So the basic premise is this: good-guy humans and bad-guy aliens end up back in time (or on some other planet – who cares?) with dinosaurs. They attach weapons to those dinosaurs and proceed to beat the crap out of each other. This makes the ridiculousness of Jurassic World look like a serious drama.
It is smart: absolutely not. Well, I shouldn’t say that with such certainty. I only ever watched two episodes of the show as a kid a long time ago… but I remember nothing about it besides “good guy is good, bad guy is bad – DINOSAURS.” Yet what needs brains to make a lot of money.
Really, ever since Transformers emerged as a blockbuster juggernaut (again – points for movies that make no sense), Dino-Riders should have been a no-brainer. Well, I’m happy to report that Hollywood might have finally realized what they’re sitting on.