In 2011, the cinema world of the Marvel superheroes was forever changed with the successful introduction of Thor, a heroic epic about a hero of the same name. Thor did what many, including Iron Man director, Jon Favreau, deemed impossible: namely introduced magic and outlandish ideas to a very technology-based Marvel cinematic universe. Before Thor, everything was science in the way that it either required grounding or some form of explanation. Without Thor, Joss Whedon’s epic The Avengers may not have felt comfortable taking its fantasy to near Star Wars level heights.
Successful films are no accident, too many things need to go right. Thor was a product of Kenneth Branagh, a director responsible for many of today’s recent adaptations of William Shakespeare and other great literary works. Branagh believed in the world of Thor and added human drama to its characters, most notably the character of Tom Hiddleston‘s Loki.
Fast-forward to last year and the release of Thor: the Dark World, the “phase two” Thor movie directed by Game of Thrones veteran, Alan Taylor. Thor: The Dark World goes more fantastical, focusing on elements that many fans of the first film wanted to see more of; including Asgard, Loki and other strange worlds. The film introduced audiences to a new villain, Malekith, played by a Doctor Who himself, Christopher Eccleston. Yet for all its seeming success, Thor: The Dark World was as lifeless as its name suggests.
Even the armor has lost its shine this time around.
The casting of Eccleston proved to be irrelevant as the filmmakers forgot to add anything resembling humanity to his character. Malekith is evil and wants to destroy everything because he’s a dark elf. That last sentence is the same level of rationalization and character development that is given to the character in a nearly two hour movie.
Returning actors Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, and Anthony Hopkins return but again have little to do in the way of character development. Thor is the generic hero, Jane Foster is the generic love interest and Odin is the generic Hopkins performance. Even the magical setting of Asgard, which in the fist film brimmed with light and uniqueness, appears faded and tired this time around.
“Woman of Science” was so 2011. Let 2013 be the year of “Woman of Standing Around, Being Helpless and Plot Device”.
The only actor who ever breathes onscreen is Hiddleston. His Loki still continues to exude the conflicted trauma of pain and mischief that makes him fun to watch. However the script fails to give Loki any real impact on the story other than to prevent the audience from lapsing into the coma of the Dark World.
Director Alan Taylor added the darker, more realistic look of Game of Thrones while forgetting to import any of the show’s intriguing character drama. The result is a dull affair that does little more than to answer the question of what Thor was doing between Avengers films. The movie would have been bad on its own, but to compare it to the initial vision of Kenneth Branagh, the man who proved magic was possible in superhero films, cements Thor: the Dark World as not only the worst of the Marvel superhero movies but also 2013’s most disappointing film.
There is more vision and creativity present in this short than the entire of a multimillion dollar film.
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Oh my gawd, Power Rangers, oh my gawd, this movie. Quick question for those out there who grew up in the nineties: did you ever have that one friend? You know the one I mean. You had like a Blue Ranger action figure and you were like so super proud of it but then he/she had the complete Zord set and they could all link up to form the Megazord or remain their little animal parts. Suddenly owning the Blue Ranger wasn’t so cool. But, as long as you two were friends, you could play with the Megazord. It made you love your time together and dream of the day when you too owned the Megazord… and then you could say goodbye to that loser. We all had that friend. That was the friend you went to go see Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie with.
Now the show was totally awesome. Remember when the Rangers were dressed as normal kids enjoying a totally drug/alcohol/sex free high school? Then there was that shot of Rita and Lord Zed plotting to kill them by taking this normal animal/object/thing/whatever and turning it into a monster that never ever looked like a guy in a costume. Oh but first, FIRST they would send the Putty Patrollers. I always felt kinda bad for the hapless Putty Patrollers. They existed simply to get beaten before the monster showed up. They didn’t seem like the smartest creatures either, I had a hard time believing they were evil.
Anyway, they were an awesome part of the show. Know what was even more awesome: when the monster showed up. It would beat up the Rangers but then the rangers would totally start beating it up. The monster would grow huge and everyone would be like “oh no, what are we going to do? Angel Grove is doomed!” but then the Rangers would be like “chill out, we got this. It’s morphin time!” and summon the Zords and form the Megazord and proceed to bitch-slap the equally hapless monster (it was just doing what it was made to do!). Anyway that was the plot. Great plot. Fantastic plot! So good, they used it for every episode. Not complaining, it was great. I never wanted to see the Mighty Morphin Introspective Rangers. Then there was the movie and suddenly this plot wasn’t good enough anymore.
First off, we start the movie with the Power Rangers jumping out of an airplane. It’s pretty sweet. The white ranger jumps out with a snowboard cause he’s cooler that way. He’s the best. The white ranger. Leader of the group. White is the best… white is the leader… white… power? NO, they got away from all that by recasting some of the rangers before this movie. Now a white guy is the Black Ranger and a black chick is the Yellow Ranger. No more racially profiled rangers. Awesome. Okay so they jump out of a plane, no introduction needed, you know it’s them (convenient that they always wear their ranger color… how does no one notice?).
They land and stuff happens. Then we cut to Angel Grove construction and get introduced to this guy:
Well, not right away. The Angel Grove grownups dig him up (cause just open everything you find underground right?) and Lord Zed sets him free. Anyone hoping to see Rita and Zed take on the Power Rangers in a climatic theatrical experience: keep dreaming, we got Ivan Ooze instead. He’s kinda cool though… not really sure what he is… except that he’s made out of pink ooze. Oh and he can shoot pink lightning too. Pink seems to be his thing (not to be confused with the pink ranger).
Waiting for Ivan Ooze to create a monster. He doesn’t (cause he’s a badass obviously). Instead he goes to the Ranger’s headquarters where Zordon is hanging… where is that place anyway?
I’m going to go ahead and give this an official location. The Power Rangers HQ is located in Alpena, South Dakota. Yep, that’s now canon. You just learned that.
And Ivan breaks in. He just oozes in (get it? I won’t do anymore of those, I promise). Seriously he just kinda gets in there. Like woah, it would be like if the Joker just walked into the Bat Cave. Why is there no security? Zordon obviously has enemies. He puts teenagers in danger every day to try and fight them. You think he would do more than just lock his door.
So Zordon gets beat up, Rangers lose their powers and they have to go to another planet to get them back. Yep. That makes total sense. Wait, is Ivan sending a monster?
Here come the tengu! (yeah that’s their official name)
Wow they look threatening and there’s a lot of them. Going to be pretty tough for the Rangers, especially when they don’t have their powers. Going to be a fierce fight, I bet the Power Rangers are going to have to use their skill and teamwork to outsmart these supernatural creations and –
Holy shit there’s a scantily clad woman swinging sticks! Just run!
Yeah the Power Rangers get saved by the planet’s (only?) inhabitant. Makes sense. I bet she was really psyched to see other humans on her world for once. I want to know more about her story. Is she like the knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Can’t wait to hear more about her. Or just move on. The movie just moves on. That’s cool, I’m still with you, bro. I’m still following. She says there’s going to be impossible trials. Wonder what cool monsters those will be?
Well, turns out they’re so cool and memorable that I can’t find pictures of them on Google. That’s right, now even Google, it seems, has a standard. But I almost forgot! They get new animals. New Zords (well not yet). But that’s great because they were dinosaurs before and like, only unicorns and dragons are cooler. Wait, there’s a monkey… and a wolf (that’s still pretty cool I guess)… and a bear… and a… frog? Seems like a downgrade, just saying. Strength of an ape is nice but unless that gorilla is King Kong, it’s not going to beat a T-Rex.
Meanwhile, the Power Rangers are away, I can only imagine all the evil stuff Ivan Ooze is doing on Earth:
Nah, just chillaxing.
Well turns out he dug up some robots and the Rangers come back with the Zords (finally) and we get.. a fight?
Always wanted to see a robot frog fight a robot scorpion. This movie came out two years after Jurassic Park btw.
Then there’s this comet and Ivan gets blown up and the Power Rangers save Zordon by holding hands. I know I left stuff out but there’s just too much plot for me to handle. This movie has layers yo, deep layers of… really really boring. Some movies hold up from childhood. Some movies don’t. Honestly it feels like the Power Rangers are barely in their own movie. The final fight takes only five minutes and Ivan Ooze goes out like a punk. This is the guy who took out Rita, Lord Zed and Zordon. Kinda anticlimactic.
How boring and stupid is this movie: I watched this while drunk and thought it was dull. Keep that in mind when deciding to revisit Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie. Just watch the show instead.
Who’s that monster in the corner? I don’t remember him being in the movie.
Thoughts? Comments? Am I full of it or onto something? Let me know now in the feedback section of this article.
Words cannot describe how serious I’m being right now. There’s a lot of other wonderful movies out there: Batman and Robin, Alien Resurrection, Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li. All of these films are perfect ways to spend an evening. Have a significant other you’re trying to impress? Can’t go wrong with those. M. Night Shyamalan, the incredibly talented director of the movie I’m about to describe, has directed other such films of this quality as well. I’m of course talking about the heartfelt tale of Lady in the Water and the wonderfully atmospheric The Happening. Yet in 2010, M. Night eclipsed his other work with an adaptation of the Nickelodeon animated series, Avatar: the Last Airbender.
Right away there is an improvement in the title. Avatar, you mean that riveting character-driven drama by James Cameron? Nay, this is simply The Last Airbender. I wish more movie titles would follow the brilliant marketing strategy used by this movie. I don’t know about the rest of you but I am already horribly confused over Legendary’s upcoming remake of Godzilla. I would like to think it’s a monster movie but with the word “God” in the title, how can I be sure? Maybe director Gareth Edwards is filming a religious drama on the god, Zilla? I don’t know: it’s too complicated for me. Anyway, forget that movie. We’re here to talk genius – The Last Airbender genius.
There is a great challenge in adapting any television show into a movie. Right away the question is raised: what makes the cut? TV shows have time to develop characters, pursue side plots and stage dramatic confrontations. They have significant hours, a movie only has between two and three hours to tell the same story. Similar challenges are raised with book adaptations as well. Anyway, anyone who has seen Avatar: the Last Airbender knows the quality of the show. The first season alone introduces the major characters of Aang, Sokka, Katara, Zuko, Iroh, Roku and Suki. Don’t worry, they’re are all there in the Shyamalan cut… well except Roku and Suki. Who needed them anyway?
So, perfect so far. What about the other side of adaptation, the oh-so-important plot points of the story? Once again, Avatar: the Last Airbender is a complex show. In addition to the character stories, there are several other thematic structures at work. The struggle to restore balance, the invasive nature of the Industrial Revolution, the monomythical philosophy of Joseph Campbell, the Shakespearean struggle of self-worth – point is shit goes down in twenty episodes a season. The Last Airbender may not have time for all these subtleties but it does a competent job. There’s… scenes of fighting and implied journeying. I think Aang and Katara hug at one point and Zuko mentions honor so, there you go! It’s all there.
Let’s actually talk about the fighting for a bit. Avatar: the Last Airbender has some of the most fluidly animated fighting of any series. The feeling of connectivity between movement and bending allow the viewer to believe the battle in front of their eyes. Again it is a tough challenge to meet. Did M. Night Shyamalan accomplish it? You better believe it. Just look at this:
Let the awesomeness of this scene sink in. Don’t worry, the rest of the film is just as well executed.
I don’t feel the need to say anymore on that subject.
The Last Airbender is an exceptional achievement of storytelling and direction. Now the question comes: why isn’t it more popular. Short answer: people can’t handle it. They start watching this masterpiece and freak out, usually being like: “can’t handle this, I’m going to just watch the show or a bad movie like the Lord of the Rings instead.” It’s a usual reaction. Don’t be ashamed if you’ve felt something similar watching this movie, it just means your mind is too small for the genius of M. Night Shyamalan.
There is good news. Most stores are practically giving this movie away at no cost so you can very easily make it the crown jewel of your video library. Most likely this is one of the latest forms of public service, similar to the creation of the library. Everyone deserves to benefit from a creative genius like M. Night Shyamalan so he has made his movie cheaply affordable for us. Not to be easily likened to the divinity of Christ but yeah, it’s pretty much on the same level.
Hundreds are films are made every year but there are few diamonds in the ruff. And there is only one The Last Airbender.
Seriously thank Christ for that. April Fools of course. Although I feel I must make one thing clear: do not see this movie. If you feel you must, DO NOT GIVE MONEY TO IT. This is a violation of great art that should not be condoned. I, as a fan of the show, gave money to this in theaters and I feel I am a worse person for doing so. How bad is The Last Airbender? If I were given the choice between seeing it again and being castrated, I would see it again… but I would have to think about it. Anytime a person considers castration: you know you might be dealing with one of the most offensively bad movies in existence. Oh well, at least it’s not the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Colin McMahon 
