May 2015 – Colin McMahon

Tomorrowland: Brad Bird's Bioshock

Posted on May 28, 2015 by Colin McMahon

When the second trailer for Disney’s Tomorrowland was released, various websites on the Internet began to spot an interesting similarity between the new live-action picture and one of the most popular video game series in the past decade. Director Brad Bird‘s optimistic opus about the potential of the future bore an eerie resemblance to Bioshock, a game series about dystopia and the different ways ideology can be taken too far. Some found the similarities so uncanny as to create a mash-up trailer combining elements from both properties:

Marketing does not always reflect the reality of the movie. That said, having seen Tomorrowland and played through all three Bioshock games, all I can say is: yep.

Warning: mild spoilers to follow.

The most obvious similarity exists in the concept. A futuristic society is created with the desire of being “better” than the rest of the world. Something goes wrong and it is up to an outsider to fix it. Right there I have just described the basic premise to both Tomorrowland and every Bioshock game. Yet the comparison does not stop there.

The movie opens with a young Frank Walker (the boy who will grow to be George Clooney), an inventor who arrives at the 1964 World’s Fair to show off his invention: the jetpack. Frank meets a mysterious girl, Athena (played very well by Raffey Cassidy) and is able to ascertain passage to Tomorrowland. What does the passage look like? Frank gets on a boat on the “It’s a Small World” ride. Halfway through, the waterway drops out and brings Frank to a seemingly endless body of water with a single walkway leading to a bathysphere. Sound familiar?

Depending on who you ask, "It's a Small World" is more or less ominous than a solitary lighthouse in the middle of the ocean. — Depending on who you ask, “It’s a Small World” is more or less ominous than a solitary lighthouse in the middle of the ocean.

Frank is next transported to Tomorrowland, a society founded and driven by one man: Governor Nix (Hugh Laurie). Nix is a leader who appears to have forsaken the rest of the world in favor of building his own vision of a better tomorrow. While his philosophy is slightly different, Nix is very comparable to the likes of Andrew Ryan and Zachary Comstock.

"You've got simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation, explain that one. Bees butterflies start to disappear, the glaciers melt, the algae blooms. All around you the coal mine canaries are dropping dead and you won't take the hint! In every moment there's a possibility of a better future, but you people won't believe it. And because you won't believe it you won't do what is necessary to make it a reality. " - Governor Nix — “You’ve got simultaneous epidemics of obesity and starvation, explain that one. Bees and butterflies start to disappear, the glaciers melt, the algae blooms. All around you the coal mine canaries are dropping dead and you won’t take the hint! In every moment there’s a possibility of a better future, but you people won’t believe it. And because you won’t believe it you won’t do what is necessary to make it a reality. “
– Governor Nix

Yes a disconnected world with lofty ideals and an extremist leader – what could go wrong? The nature of the exact problem with Tomorrowland is partly what separates it from other dystopias like Rapture and Columbia. The stubbornness and unfeeling nature of Nix aside, Tomorrowland has created a technology that is interfering with the rest of the world. I won’t spoil what it is exactly, other than to say it ties in strongly with the overall theme of the movie (similar to how the problems with Rapture and Columbia tied in to the themes of those games).

The last comparison really worth mentioning is Athena, the single agent acting against the wishes of her master and bringing in outside help to Tomorrowland. She accompanies the heroes throughout the entire plot, chipping in where she can and providing evidence that not everything in Tomorrowland has gone wrong. She also plays an essential role in how the story is resolved. Sound familiar:

Athena does not throw coins to either George Clooney or , proving that she is not as financially useful as Elizabeth. — Athena does not throw coins to either George Clooney or Britt Robertson, proving that she is not as financially useful as Elizabeth.

Almost forgot: there are also nonhuman guardians protecting Tomorrowland, and its secrets, from intruders of the outside world. Do they look as cool as this:

Nope, they look more like this:

It is difficult to say whether or not the wealth of similarities between Tomorrowland and the Bioshock series is anything more than coincidence. I have searched for information on whether or not Brad Bird is a gamer, and I have found none. Given his age (57), and where he is in life – I do not believe he has ever played Bioshock. Yet Damon Lindelof, who co-wrote Tomorrowland, may very well have – again I cannot be sure. The idea of the Bioshock series is not so revolutionary that it is impossible to believe other creative minds did not come up with it on their own. Humanity has been discussing utopia and dystopia for centuries.

And alike as they are, Tomorrowland and Bioshock do enjoy their differences. The main story arch is different between them, and Tomorrowland enjoys an optimism (that some reviewers have labeled preachy while this reviewer found refreshing) that Bioshock does not possess.

It could be argued that Disney should have embraced the Bioshock comparison more openly, as their movie is currently struggling for financial success.

Dear Nintendo: The Mario Kart 8 DLC We Really Want

Posted on May 20, 2015 by Colin McMahon

Dear Nintendo,

Thank you for those two packs of downloadable content for Mario Kart 8. They were affordable and added in some great tracks. The new vehicle options were engaging and 200 cc mode might be at the pinnacle of crazy-but-fun nonsense. The new characters… well having Link, Isabelle, and the Villager was pretty cool. Overall, they were great add-ons and I hate to complain but…

It’s the internet and I have first-world problems.

While Mario Kart‘s DLC has been great so far, it has failed to address the game’s largest weaknesses. The game already boasted an impressive course list, with 16 great new tracks and 16 excellent remakes. Now, with 16 brand new courses, it is tough to argue against Mario Kart 8 having the best track selection in the series. That’s definitely a positive, but in ideal DLC we need…

A REAL Battle Mode

You know what Mario Kart 8 also has? The worst Battle Mode since it was introduced back in the original Mario Kart. The problem is simple: Mario Kart 8, for all its raceways, has no dedicated Battle Mode stages. Not one. That’s right, while Nintendo found time to 48 courses to support one of Mario Kart 8‘s modes, they made a grand total of zip to support the other. Instead they have left players to battle on regular raceways, courses that were not designed for that style of gameplay. While there is still some fun to be had, it has made Battle Mode feel largely crippled. Heck, if they’re out of ideas for new stages, might I make a simple suggestion of four pretty good ones?

Just off the top of my head, these would be excellent to play online.

So yeah, Nintendo – PLEASE add a real Battle Mode, I am willing to pay eight more dollars for it. I haven’t taken a poll but I feel that I am not the only one in this camp. Also, if I could make one critique of the character roster:

It is deceptively limited.

Many unique characters were scrapped in favor of "variations" of favorites. — Many unique characters were scrapped in favor of “variations” of favorites.

There are currently 36 characters available to choose from in Mario Kart 8. At first glance, that sounds like a ton! I mean who could want more when you can choose from Mario, Metal Mario, Baby Mario, Tanooki Mario… okay that’s a lot of Marios, but there is also Peach… and Pink Gold Peach… and Baby Peach… and Cat Peach…

Seeing a pattern?

For all Mario Kart 8‘s character selection, it really boils down to 26 characters, and seven of those are just Koopalings. So, that really means that the total of unique characters (who most people actually care about) is closer to 19. That is quite a drop from 36. Nintendo, if you’re in the mood for additional DLC, before you add “Fire Luigi,” please consider the following:

Birdo

Really, there are two forms for both Rosalina and Daisy, but no space could be found for pink female equivalent of Yoshi? Sure, Birdo is no longer particularly relevant to the series, but neither is Daisy… and was Waluigi ever?

Bowser Jr.

Nintendo, do you really mean to tell me that you had room for two incarnations of Bowser and seven Koopalings… but no love for Bowser Jr.? The kid has been around for the last few games, what happened? Did he offend someone during the making of Mario Kart 7? If he is good enough for Super Smash Bros., he should be included in Mario Kart 8.

Diddy Kong

Look at him, all excited. He doesn't know yet how much his hopes have been crushed. — Look at him, all excited. He doesn’t know yet how much his hopes have been crushed.

Or even Donkey Kong Jr., I don’t really care which, but there is enough room to let Donkey Kong have one sidekick. Toad has Toadette and again… do I need to mention how Waluigi is included in this game? Diddy Kong deserves more respect.

Boo

No, no victory celebrations for you. Now Boo learns what it is like to be truly dead and forgotten.

He doesn’t have to be royalty to belong back in Mario Kart. Boo is a unique villain and who doesn’t love the ghost chuckle that guy gives every time he passes someone. Bad enough they removed him from the game as a racer, did they have to take his power too?

E. Gadd

It would probably look cooler than this but good try, IGN.

Bet you thought I was going to mention the piranha plant, right? Nope, Professor E. Gadd is a bit more deserving. Again, give Luigi (and his side characters) a bit more room to shine. Plus, E. Gadd totally seems like the insane genius who would invent a racing kart.

Captain Falcon

Seriously, there are already two F-Zero courses in the game and an F-Zero racer. What does Captain Falcon have to do for a roster spot? It is great to see Nintendo bringing in characters from outside series, but puzzling to watch as they skip the obvious choice… while acknowledging how well the two series work together.

So there you have it, Nintendo – humble suggestions for a fan (who is willing to pay to get these things). I think I speak for many people when I say: come on! What are you waiting for?

P.S. – Also new powers would be pretty awesome. Two ideas: a Hook Shot power up (courtesy of Zelda) that allows the racer to shoot up to the person ahead of them and a Tom Nook coins/power steal (kind of like a variation of the old Boo power). Think about it.

The Great NFL Hypocrisy: Deflategate, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots

Posted on May 11, 2015 by Colin McMahon

The Atlanta Falcons were found guilty of pumping in crowd noise for two years. Punishment: $350,000 fine, loss of a fifth round draft pick.

The Cleveland Browns were found guilty of illegal texting during the game. Punishment: $250,000 fine and a four game suspension for their General Manager.

The New York Jets were found guilty of openly, illegally tampering with then Patriots cornerback Darrelle Revis. Punishment: $100,000 fine.

Everyone remember Ray Rice's initial punishment? Well, in Goodell's defense, there was no report using such strong language as "probably" for him to go on. — Everyone remember Ray Rice’s initial punishment? Well, in Goodell’s defense, there was no report using such strong language as “probably” for him to go on.

The independent Wells Report, set in place by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell (yes, this Roger Goodell), finds that New England Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady was probably “at least generally aware” of violating the rules with the now infamous Deflategate scandal. The same report also found that “said league investigators found no evidence that coach Bill Belichick and team management knew of the practice.”

Punishment: $1,000,000 fine. Loss of 1st and 4th round draft picks. Tom Brady suspended for four games without pay.

Seems fair.

Oh wait, sorry – ha I’m always mixing up my words. As a writer, that can be pretty annoying. Not fair… uhm, what’s the word I’m looking for here – it will come to me – oh here we go: f*cking ridiculous. That’s two words, no wonder I was confused. I apologize.

Months ago, Patriots' owner Robert Kraft demanded an apology from Roger Goodell for wasting money and resourcing in a baseless attempt to sully Brady and the Patriots. I guess this was the response. — Months ago, Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft demanded an apology from Roger Goodell for wasting money and resources in a baseless attempt to sully Brady and the Patriots. I guess this was the response.

Before I get into this, let the record show: it’s just a sport. There are so many worse things going on, well… within that particular organization, that to call this the NFL’s greatest mistake or mistreatment in the past year would be a large overstatement. You can do plenty worse things than mistreat a franchise, just ask the Baltimore Ravens.

Let the record also show that I am a Patriots’ fan, and as a Patriots’ fan let me say: the Patriots were found rightfully guilty in Spygate and signing a contract extension with now-murderer Aaron Hernandez gave me quite a bit of disgust for my home team (I used to cheer for that psychopath). So I am not a blind “Patriots can do no wrong” kind of guy.

I stand by my f*cking ridiculous statement.

The bizarre saga of Deflategate has gone from “what?” to “really?” to “come on.” over the past few months. For the record, I believe the last time the NFL ordered an independent investigation into a matter, it was the Ray Rice case. The findings: Roger Goodell likely had no knowledge of the elevator videotape prior to its public release. Show of hands: how many people out there believe those findings?

Okay, so a private investigation was launched into potentially criminal concealing of evidence… and whether or not balls were properly inflated during a 45-7 AFC Championship beating. Right away, it seems odd to have the same reaction to such wildly different scenarios. But surely, there must be a precedent for this? This ball tampering must be a serious, serious charge with strong punishments? Well, turns out this has happened before with the San Diego Chargers. Their punishment: a $20,000 fine. Wow, that seems irregular.

So clearly the issue is not the ball tampering, but a further charge:

“With respect to your particular involvement, the report established that there is substantial and credible evidence to conclude you were at least generally aware of the actions of the Patriots’ employees involved in the deflation of the footballs and that it was unlikely that their actions were done without your knowledge,” Vincent wrote. “Moreover, the report documents your failure to cooperate fully and candidly with the investigation, including by refusing to produce any relevant electronic evidence (emails, texts, etc.), despite being offered extraordinary safeguards by the investigators to protect unrelated personal information, and by providing testimony that the report concludes was not plausible and contradicted by other evidence.”

Ah, so it is because Brady lied. Well, if it is proved with such strong language in the report like “maybe” and “probably” and “at least generally” and “more likely than not,” I mean, that just sounds so definitive, right? Forget legal language, if you used those phrases in a college essay, you would get at best a “C” and a “use a stronger voice” comment from the professor. Brady’s crucifying lack of cooperation was his refusal to turn over his personal phone and email.

ST. LOUIS, MO - DECEMBER 22: Referee John Parry #132 holds a meeting with other officials during a game between the St. Louis Rams and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Edward Jones Dome on December 22, 2013 in St. Louis, Missouri. The Rams beat the Buccaneers 23-13. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images) — I understand the outrage but lets stop pretending the Patriots are the only team to push the rules. The referees throw flags on every team.

Because only the most paranoid and guilty celebrities (with a supermodel wife) would refuse to turn over potentially personally devastating material to such an airtight organization like the NFL. They have not once ever leaked any material from any sort of investigation before… not once. And that, boys and girls, is how one uses sarcasm.

With increasing scrutiny turning on the Wells Report, and a potentially huge new hole surfacing earlier today, one wonders if the NFL and its elite team of 32 rich white guy owners have gone too far in their witch hunt of the New England Patriots. Many believe that Tom Brady will launch a lawsuit against the league and others (myself included) hope that owner Robert Kraft follows suit.

A referee was accused, convicted, and fired for stealing and replacing balls during the AFC championship game. Funny how that got left out of the report.

And as for punishing the Patriots, the team cleared by the Wells Report… you got me on that one. Great to see that Goodell is not above letting such petty things as facts stand in the way of punishing the Patriots… such a controversial move, to overly punish the team that most of the nation is jealous of/hates anyway.

This is discrimination, clear and simple. As a Patriots’ fan I can only say: sue the bastards, Tom. Beat ’em in court like you beat them on the field.

Month: May 2015