Nintendo – Page 2 – Colin McMahon

Dear Nintendo: The Mario Kart 8 DLC We Really Want

Posted on May 20, 2015 by Colin McMahon

Dear Nintendo,

Thank you for those two packs of downloadable content for Mario Kart 8. They were affordable and added in some great tracks. The new vehicle options were engaging and 200 cc mode might be at the pinnacle of crazy-but-fun nonsense. The new characters… well having Link, Isabelle, and the Villager was pretty cool. Overall, they were great add-ons and I hate to complain but…

It’s the internet and I have first-world problems.

While Mario Kart‘s DLC has been great so far, it has failed to address the game’s largest weaknesses. The game already boasted an impressive course list, with 16 great new tracks and 16 excellent remakes. Now, with 16 brand new courses, it is tough to argue against Mario Kart 8 having the best track selection in the series. That’s definitely a positive, but in ideal DLC we need…

A REAL Battle Mode

You know what Mario Kart 8 also has? The worst Battle Mode since it was introduced back in the original Mario Kart. The problem is simple: Mario Kart 8, for all its raceways, has no dedicated Battle Mode stages. Not one. That’s right, while Nintendo found time to 48 courses to support one of Mario Kart 8‘s modes, they made a grand total of zip to support the other. Instead they have left players to battle on regular raceways, courses that were not designed for that style of gameplay. While there is still some fun to be had, it has made Battle Mode feel largely crippled. Heck, if they’re out of ideas for new stages, might I make a simple suggestion of four pretty good ones?

Just off the top of my head, these would be excellent to play online.

So yeah, Nintendo – PLEASE add a real Battle Mode, I am willing to pay eight more dollars for it. I haven’t taken a poll but I feel that I am not the only one in this camp. Also, if I could make one critique of the character roster:

It is deceptively limited.

Many unique characters were scrapped in favor of "variations" of favorites. — Many unique characters were scrapped in favor of “variations” of favorites.

There are currently 36 characters available to choose from in Mario Kart 8. At first glance, that sounds like a ton! I mean who could want more when you can choose from Mario, Metal Mario, Baby Mario, Tanooki Mario… okay that’s a lot of Marios, but there is also Peach… and Pink Gold Peach… and Baby Peach… and Cat Peach…

Seeing a pattern?

For all Mario Kart 8‘s character selection, it really boils down to 26 characters, and seven of those are just Koopalings. So, that really means that the total of unique characters (who most people actually care about) is closer to 19. That is quite a drop from 36. Nintendo, if you’re in the mood for additional DLC, before you add “Fire Luigi,” please consider the following:

Birdo

Really, there are two forms for both Rosalina and Daisy, but no space could be found for pink female equivalent of Yoshi? Sure, Birdo is no longer particularly relevant to the series, but neither is Daisy… and was Waluigi ever?

Bowser Jr.

Nintendo, do you really mean to tell me that you had room for two incarnations of Bowser and seven Koopalings… but no love for Bowser Jr.? The kid has been around for the last few games, what happened? Did he offend someone during the making of Mario Kart 7? If he is good enough for Super Smash Bros., he should be included in Mario Kart 8.

Diddy Kong

Look at him, all excited. He doesn't know yet how much his hopes have been crushed. — Look at him, all excited. He doesn’t know yet how much his hopes have been crushed.

Or even Donkey Kong Jr., I don’t really care which, but there is enough room to let Donkey Kong have one sidekick. Toad has Toadette and again… do I need to mention how Waluigi is included in this game? Diddy Kong deserves more respect.

Boo

No, no victory celebrations for you. Now Boo learns what it is like to be truly dead and forgotten.

He doesn’t have to be royalty to belong back in Mario Kart. Boo is a unique villain and who doesn’t love the ghost chuckle that guy gives every time he passes someone. Bad enough they removed him from the game as a racer, did they have to take his power too?

E. Gadd

It would probably look cooler than this but good try, IGN.

Bet you thought I was going to mention the piranha plant, right? Nope, Professor E. Gadd is a bit more deserving. Again, give Luigi (and his side characters) a bit more room to shine. Plus, E. Gadd totally seems like the insane genius who would invent a racing kart.

Captain Falcon

Seriously, there are already two F-Zero courses in the game and an F-Zero racer. What does Captain Falcon have to do for a roster spot? It is great to see Nintendo bringing in characters from outside series, but puzzling to watch as they skip the obvious choice… while acknowledging how well the two series work together.

So there you have it, Nintendo – humble suggestions for a fan (who is willing to pay to get these things). I think I speak for many people when I say: come on! What are you waiting for?

P.S. – Also new powers would be pretty awesome. Two ideas: a Hook Shot power up (courtesy of Zelda) that allows the racer to shoot up to the person ahead of them and a Tom Nook coins/power steal (kind of like a variation of the old Boo power). Think about it.

Ten Fighters You Should Vote Into Smash Bros.

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Colin McMahon

Every time a Smash Bros. game is announced, part of the fun is guessing who will be in it. There are safe bets like Mario, Link, Kirby, and Samus, but there are also internet hopefuls. Well, now – for the first time ever – Nintendo is letting us pick. Yes. Yes. Yes!

Now loyal customers or perhaps just those rare few people with the internet (Nintendo still doesn’t know the internet is a thing apparently, just ask Mario Party 10) can vote for the next fighter. Simply go to this official ballot site and cast your vote. All you need to know is your gender (cause girl votes only count for .8 of man votes), the character you want, which game they came from, and why you want them. In terms of knowing your gender… I can’t really help you beyond providing this guide. Figure it out?

Okay, well if that’s as far as you got before getting lost, here are some ideas for Smash Bros. Some are safe, some are reaching, all are possible. Maybe. Power to the people! Yay!

1. Goku (Dragonball Z: The Legacy of Goku for Gameboy Advance)

I’ll start off with the Kotaku push. For those out there who don’t know – how do you not know? Goku has been around for ages. He is so popular that, even if you don’t watch anime, you’ve likely still seen him around. The Saiyan fighter seems to be a natural fit in a fighting game.

People want Goku so much that they've already added him to Smash Bros. — People want Goku so much that they’ve already added him to *Smash Bros*.

2. Paper Mario (Paper Mario for Nintendo 64)

Okay, the argument against this guy is that we shouldn’t have to vote for him. Why isn’t he already in the game? Like seriously, we got Dr. Mario as far back as Melee but Paper Mario gets no love. That’s too bad because, unlike his P.H.D. bragging counterpart, this Mario could actually warrant an original move set.

Paper Mario waiting his turn to appear in *Smash Bros*.

3. Bayonetta (Bayonetta 2 for Wii U)

If the Nintendo universe were not so devoid of sexuality, Bayonetta would probably already be in the game. Still, it comes across as kind of a dick move by Nintendo. Newcomer Platinum Games loves working with Nintendo after all. They made Bayonetta 2 a Wii U exclusive. Monolith Soft made Xenoblade Chronicles an exclusive and Shulk got to be in the game. Sounds kinda sexist there, Big N.

Bayonetta: the character who could single-handedly raise the age requirement. — Bayonetta: the character who could single handedly raise the age requirement.

4. Shovel Knight (Shovel Knight for 3DS/Wii U)

Why would not want to play as a knight wielding a shovel? Also the fact that this game has been one of the biggest indie hits for Nintendo should count for something. Let’s get Shovel Knight to dig in (haha get it?).

And he fits with Nintendo's anti-violence message! — And he fits with Nintendo’s anti-violence message!

5. Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil 4 for Gamecube/Everything)

Speaking of cashing in a favor, remember the Gamecube? Remember Resident Evil 4: that sick once-exclusive for the Gamecube that got everyone excited for Resident Evil again? Yeah, let’s give Leon his due. His move set would be unique, and maybe we could also get a cool cultist village level to fight in.

Leon's already enjoyed a crossover with Lord of the Rings, why not Nintendo? — Leon’s already enjoyed a crossover with *Lord of the Rings*, why not Nintendo?

6. Batman (Batman for NES)

Because what isn’t better with Batman in it?

Pretty much the only reason you need to vote for him.

7. Aang (Avatar: the Last Airbender for Wii)

Yeah, of course I’m going to promote more Avatar: the Last Airbender. Apart from that though, just think about it. Think about how much Aang would fit into Smash Bros. and how cool his move list would be. Did you think about it? All right, now make it happen.

With your help, Aang can finally be rendered with a mouth.

8. Bomberman (Bomberman 64 for Nintendo 64)

We already got Mario, Sonic, Mr. Game & Watch, Pac-Man, and Mega Man. Poor Bomberman is feeling left out. Besides, it would be fun to have someone with continuous access to high-powered explosives.

9. Rayman (Rayman Legends for Wii U)

Seriously, this guy has a trophy in the game. How is he not already in the game? HOW?! Nintendo and Ubisoft need to fix their stupid argument and make this a reality.

He's already a trophy! This is the hugest tease ever! — He’s already a trophy! This is the hugest tease ever!

10. Godzilla (Godzilla Unleashed for Wii)

Because Godzilla needs to fight everybody. It is his destiny. This was my vote.

Bonus: Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th for NES)

Cause f*ck Mortal Kombat X. Nintendo should get him too.

Be sure to specify that you want the purple Jason.

A Rose by any Other Name… Can be Confusing: The New 3DS

Posted on November 5, 2014 by Colin McMahon

Have you heard this one before: Nintendo faces PR fiasco over poor foresight and inability to clearly introduce new hardware. Yes, but the Wii U came out back in 2012 so what’s the problem? Well, not to be outdone by their past, the Big N is at it again with the announcement of their brand new hardware: the New 3DS.

“Wait,” you say, “don’t you mean their new version. It’s still a 3DS, right?”

Answer: Kinda but not really.

To begin with, the definition of hardware needs to be established:

“the machines, wiring, and other physical components of a computer or other electronic system.”

Google “hardware definition” and that is what comes up. Okay, so where does one piece of hardware end and another begin? Nintendo is no stranger to releasing new versions of their hardware. Ever since the days of Game Boy, Nintendo has released new versions of their product. There are already several versions of 3DS on the market right now: 3DS, 3DS XL, and 2DS (seriously, who bought this?). There are already differences in the hardware and they are immediate. The XL unit is larger and the 2DS does not have the ability to ever go 3D (seriously, who?). Yet I agree that they are not new systems, simply new versions of what was already available to work with.

What makes the New 3DS different from what came before? Sure, it adds a second analog stick and two more buttons, but isn’t it really just a better designed version of this:

That is how they’re trying to sell it, but no there is actually a much larger difference. The New 3DS has a brand new CPU (central processing unit). That means that this system is faster than the old and capable of better visual graphics. Better graphics… hmmm, now when is that style of marketing used?

Whenever a new system is introduced, graphical comparisons are almost always made. In fact, they are already being made about the 3DS and the New 3DS:

Okay but graphics aside, the New 3DS still really is not that different. It isn’t like there are games for it that will not work on the old 3DS, right?

Wrong.

So far, only one game has been announced exclusively for New 3DS, and that is the portable version of Xenoblade Chronicles. On the software side, that is not much (for now). Except when Amiibo comes in. The New 3DS features NFC support, meaning that it can interact with Nintendo’s new lineup of toy supplements. Both the New 3DS and the Wii U gamepad have NFC functionality built-in. Owners of the old 3DS will have to buy an additional adapter to take advantage of this new technology. Sounding new enough, yet?

Yeah, when you look at it, there’s a lot more that the New 3DS can do… so why wasn’t it released three years ago? The 3DS is only a year older than the Wii U, it is still a very new system, yet Nintendo has already made it outdated. Criticism existed from day one over the several features missing from the original 3DS, the most notable objection was the lack of second analog stick.

Revisionism can be a good innovator, but constant revisionism is a bad idea, especially in less than perfect economic conditions. Nintendo is already loosing ground to an ever-growing mobile phone gaming market. While some consumers may be willing to pony up cash every year for the latest phone, giving up a couple hundred dollars for a SLIGHTLY better 3DS is not the same sure bet.

Instead, many gamers may have reactions very similar to my brother, a man who recently bought a 3DS. Suffice it to say, he is not excited about this newer, better version. Instead, he feels cheated. Why buy now when they are going to release a clearly superior product in such a short time? Nintendo does not appear to see a problem.

Nintendo just released an edition styled specifically for Smash Bros., despite the fact the game will look and run (and have faster internet) on the New 3DS. — Nintendo just released an edition styled specifically for *Smash Bros.*, despite the fact the game will look and run (and have faster internet) on the New 3DS.

While Nintendo has been seen as an innovator in gameplay, their lack of forward thinking in regards to hardware has been a problem. This is the company that did not think a lack of HD would hurt the Wii in 2007 (it did not initially but things were different by 2010). Nintendo did not feel that the name “Wii U” would cause any problems, or that people would be confused by a controller-centric unveiling. Nintendo is the company that still treats online like a fad, rather than building games to take complete advantage of it. In short: holy hell, can this company not think down the road.

The visuals in Wii games like Skyward Sword would have been greatly improved by even 720p support. The orginal Xbox had 720p support. — The visuals in Wii games like Skyward Sword would have been greatly improved by even 720p support. The original Xbox had 720p support.

Right now they are not expecting any negative feedback to releasing essentially a 3DS 2 only three years after the 3DS made its debut. Should Nintendo fans or the gaming public in general be holding out for a “New Wii U” as well? There are already reports that Nintendo is planning a new console. Instead of abandoning and revising their hardware, Nintendo should take a good look at the competition for answers. Sony is a company to admire for their repair of a horrendous PlayStation 3 launch. Nintendo needs to do the same thing. They need a new image, and the company that roles out new hardware every two years is not it.

Should you buy a New 3DS? Maybe. The odds are slim that they will revise twice in a generation. Should you buy an original 3DS this holiday season? Absolutely not. Nintendo has already told you that they have something better. They are just trying to hide it so you won’t feel cheated.