Movies – Page 22 – Colin McMahon

It is Fun to be Scared! Five Horror Movies that Entertain More than They Frighten

Posted on September 30, 2015 by Colin McMahon

It’s October again (or close enough) so get ready for a whole month of horror-themed content. I begin by easing into it. Not everyone likes being scared after all. As a fan of horror, I cannot tell you how many times my suggestion to watch a horror movie has been voted do by “Is it scary? I don’t like being scared!”

Well… of course all the absolute best “pure” horror movies are scary. They wouldn’t be good if they weren’t. Yet I feel that there is a sub-genre to horror that is rarely talked about. Those films that give the chills but also excite us as audiences. After all, it was films like the original Dawn of the Dead that got people asking: “So what would you do in a zombie apocalypse?”

So if you’re looking to get into the Halloween spirit but still wish to sleep fairly soundly at night, I have some ideas for you. Keep in mind, art is subjective – so if you frighten easily: fair warning.

The Visit

Holy crap, M. Night Shyamalan finally made a good movie again. WHAT A TWIST?!

Seriously, for those that haven’t heard, M. Night’s newest sends two kids to meet their long-lost grandparents. Shot in “found footage” style, The Visit treats its audiences to a mix of jolts and laughs. Sounds like a hard combo to pull off because it is.

Deanna Dunagan deserves a lot of credit for conveying a performance that warm, funny, and at times downright horrifying.

What makes The Visit more impressive is that, while balancing these two difficult moods, the film remains fairly grounded and subdued. The films highlighted after this one make no such effort and often reach wacky, near cartoon levels of physical humor. M. Night is able to perfectly capture that level of awkward, tension-relieving laughter that comes when the film’s characters (and audience) realize that the situation is just going from bad to worse.

For those out there getting sick of “found footage” and all its overdone trappings, The Visit has you covered as well; with many scenes intentionally poking fun at the more commonplace jump scares.

Is it creepy: yeah (especially if old people weird you out), but it’s also a lot of fun! Also, there’s very little gore – although it does get kind of gross in certain spots.

Cabin in the Woods

For a long time, the late great Wes Craven‘s Scream was at the top film for meta-horror movie experiences. It still is… but Cabin in the Woods blows it out of the water as a deconstruction of the slasher horror genre. Where Scream merely pointed out where conventions lay, Cabin in the Woods works its entire premise around it.

The film is, you guessed it, about a group of young, attractive college kids renting a cabin in the woods. Without spoiling anything, let’s just say that there is a little bit more going on. Soon the kids are up against a family of murderous zombies and things are getting increasingly dangerous and bizarre.

Look no further than the poster to see what kind of tone the movie operates at.

This is a perfect film for anyone who has ever watched a teen horror film and wondered: “Why is everyone acting like a complete idiot? Why would they do that?”

It’s gory for sure, but there’s a lot of comedy interwoven into the horror formula. All the actors perform like they had a blast making this film. Surprisingly (or not) this movie was written by none other than Joss Whedon (The Avengers) and his friend Drew Goddard and serves as their letter to the horror genre.

Gremlins

Wow, Minions has sure grossed a lot of money recently huh? I wonder where the creators ever got that idea for little, semi-evil, funny monsters that run around causing mischief and spouting gibberish?

Oh yeah, these hyper assh*les.

When Gremlins was first conceived, it was intended to be a much darker, more serious horror film. The gremlins weren’t going to be as funny and were going to kill a lot more people. Luckily, none other than Steven Spielberg came along and was like nah, let’s lighten it up. The result is arguably the most fun creature invasion movie of all time.

This film creeped me out as a kid, but since then I have come to view it as one of the most fun horror films I have. It can ever count as a Christmas movie (as much as Die Hard) since it takes place around that holiday. Is there gore? Yeah, but only if you count putting a gremlin in a blender. And oh that theme song:

Evil Dead II/ Army of Darkness

I’m kind of cheating here but they are both films in the same Evil Dead series. While the first and fourth (or remake if you will) films are straight horror, the second and third are something else entirely. Watching Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness is like watching live action cartoons… that are adult-oriented. I mean, just watch this:

Yeah, it’s ridiculous. The first three films can be viewed as Ash (the protagonist)’s descent into madness, as he is thrown into a world of demons and other horrors that defy reason. Don’t watch if you can’t stand dismemberment, but otherwise you may never laugh harder at a horror film. Here’s hoping the upcoming Ash vs. Evil Dead can deliver the same level of zany quality.

Trick ‘R Treat

When Krampus comes out: see it. Take your friends, maybe have a drink or two first, and prepare to have a good time. Why do I say that? Because Krampus is directed by Michael Dougherty, the mastermind behind Trick ‘R Treat.

Trick ‘R Treat may be the definitive Halloween film, since it is all about Halloween! The film is an anthology collection of stories centered around the holiday. The importance of checking your candy: check. The importance of decorating a pumpkin: check. The importance of having a great costume: it’s all there. Every rule of Halloween must be followed, and those that break them suffer dire consequences.

Those who break the rules get a visit from Sam, who is none too pleased.

There is nothing more to be said than this film IS Halloween. It’s essential viewing. Not too gory, not too scary, it’s just right. Darn shame it never earned a theatrical release, but there’s hope for the sequel!

There you are, six films to sink your fangs into. In my opinion, they won’t terrify so much as entertain, making them excellent choices for those trying to get into horror this Halloween.

The Horrible Life Lessons Learned From Space Jam

Posted on September 18, 2015 by Colin McMahon

Oh to be a child of the nineties and have opinions grossly clouded by nostalgia. I grew up during this strange and magical time of Pokémon, Gushers, and DZ: Discovery Zone. Being a kid back then was awesome, it’s no lie. We had a lot of great things to entertain ourselves with. Sadly, there are some not so great things that some of us also remember fondly. I speak, of course, of Space Jam. Most all of my friends (also children of the 90s) love Space Jam. As a kid, I remember really liking it in the theaters. I mean it was Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes, how can you go wrong?

It was very wrong.

Unlike the best childhood movies, Space Jam (or the poor man’s Who Framed Rodger Rabbit) is full of really horrible life lessons. This is not a movie that teaches you to learn from the past and take responsibility for your life (The Lion King), or to be yourself (Aladdin) or that true beauty is found within (Beauty and the Beast).

Nope, none of those are here. Let’s look instead at what is presented in this film forgotten largely by anyone not between the ages of six and ten in 1996.

Kidnap Your Friends

Let’s start with something that’s really pretty big in the movie: Bugs Bunny and the other Looney Tunes never ask for Michael Jordan’s help (even though they easily could have – as it is established later in the film that they have no problem going to the “real” world). What do they do instead? Just toss a rope around him at a golf course and drag him over. Sure, once in Looney Tune land, Michael may have the opportunity to say no… maybe. Just keep in mind, if he did – he would have said no in a land surrounded by thousands of angry cartoon characters… oh and no one from home knew where he was so they’ll never find his body.

This guy is the villain and he only ever TALKS about kidnapping people. Let this be a lesson kids: Winners let their actions do the talking.

Women exist to be Sexualized in All Forms

Even bunnies.

Holy crap, who designed Lola Bunny? Speaking as someone who saw this movie at seven, Lola Bunny gave me some confusing thoughts that would not be explained for the next few years. Once they were explained, it left me with one question: who designs a children’s cartoon rabbit this way? She has human breasts! Lola is sexualized in a way that is frankly disturbing. Since no one other than Bugs (who is another rabbit) is attracted to her, why was she drawn with different appeal. Just why – what was the conversation that lead to her creation?

It's like someone turned Natalie Dormer into a rabbit. — It’s like someone turned Natalie Dormer into a rabbit.

“Hey we got that Space Jam movie coming out, are we going to get the teenage crowd?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Better add breasts to the bunny just in case.”

Remember kids, if you’re going to have a woman in your movie, she had better be a sex symbol – even if she is a rabbit.

Bully the Fat Guy

Wayne Knight exists in Space Jam for one reason: to be made fun of. This wouldn’t matter so much if all the jokes weren’t targeted at one aspect of his character, namely his size. Sure, Stan (Knight’s character) is presented also as a dork, but why is he a dork – because he’s fat.

Haha! His shape is round! By the way - man do those effects not hold up. — Haha! His shape is round! By the way – man do those effects not hold up.

Forget the fact that he offers to help out in the big game against the Monstars, or that he sacrifices his health for the good of the team, or that he is the one to discover the Monstar’s plot, or that he generally tries to be a nice guy in general (the only one to really try to find Michael after the Looney Tunes kidnap him) – the movie doesn’t care and treats him only as a punchline. F*ck him, he’s nothing but a big old fattie. Yeah, he gets to announce Michael’s return to humanity at the end of the movie, but how about an apology – how about the “thanks for helping out, we were really lucky to have you with us, sorry we were kind of total dicks to you.”

No? Only Bill Murray gets told he can play basketball? Okay.

… Oh! And also bully short people, like the Looney Tunes were doing to the Monstars before they got tall. That’s the whole reason they picked basketball in the first place!

Succumb to Peer Pressure ALL the Time

Why does Michael agree to help the Looney Tunes? Does he feel truly sympathetic to their cause? Or is it because he gets insulted, and then goaded into joining by Tweety?

“You’re not scared of them, are you Michael?”

"Kill them, Michael. Kill them all." — “Kill them, Michael. Kill them all.”

To which Michael, being the mature, responsible father he is, agrees to risk never seeing his family again in order to help out the cartoon characters who kidnapped him. Awesome.

Take Steroids and Cheat to Win

Oh my god, this is totally in the movie. Remember Michael’s “secret stuff” that helps him win every game? Sure, in the movie it is just water and the effects are purely placebo but holy crap! This comparison is really spot on to the steroid scandal that was (and still is) going on in the professional sports world today. Actual quote from the movie:

Daffy: “You know, this goes against everything they taught me in health class.”

Michael Jordan (role model to a generation): “You want to win or not?”

Sure, it makes Bugs all muscle-y, but I bet he also has anger problems and a smaller carrot as a result.

If Tom Brady said those words (even in a kid’s movie), people in New England would never hear the end of it, just saying.

Don’t Talk to Your Significant Other/Family

The whole time Michael is doing this potentially enslaving act for the Looney Tunes, never once does he send a message to his family. His kids only find out because they catch Bugs and Daffy robbing their house.

Michael’s wife, the woman he wanted to share his life with: she’s not important enough to know. Maybe he would have told her if she was more sexualized.

So there you have it. Keep in mind, I have not seen Space Jam in quite a while so I may not be remembering everything that happened in the movie. There could be more instances of life lessons that would have scared every child watching the movie.

Who knows? As I said, Space Jam has been largely forgotten. If only they could get that sequel off the ground:

Maybe they can promote racism and adultery in this new movie!

Marketing Method: Jurassic World

Posted on June 3, 2015 by Colin McMahon

Fourteen years ago, Jurassic Park III hit theaters (yes, you are that old). The film received mixed reviews with many people calling it more fun than The Lost World… but also more stupid. The “they’re not monsters, they’re animals” approach championed by Steven Spielberg was gone, replaced instead with “here’s a new dinosaur… bigger and more terrible than T-Rex.” Granted, Jurassic Park III never pretended to be anything more than a simple thrill ride, just watch the trailer:

Three big things to take away from that trailer: 1. Dr. Grant is back!!!!!!! 2. Raptor intelligence. 3. New dinosaur – bigger and meaner than Tyrannosaurus.

While some enjoyed this approach, it is worth noting that Jurassic Park III was both the worst reviewed critically of the series (49% on Rotten Tomatoes and 42 on Metacritic) and the least profitable. The film grossed only 368 million with a 93 million budget, Lost World by comparison grossed 618 million with a 73 million dollar budget.

So while the film was an experiment, it does not seem like one the producers would like to repeat. Let’s look at the trailer for the brand new entry, Jurassic World:

Three big things to take away from that trailer: 1. Star-Lord is in Jurassic Park!!!! 2. Raptor Intelligence. 3. New dinosaur – bigger and meaner than Tyrannosaurus.

Wait…

Yeah, it seems like at least one part of the Hollywood machine, Jurassic World‘s marketing, is very content to recycle the old hooks of Jurassic Park III. Both films also share a similar “over the top” approach. Jurassic Park III includes shots in a river, in a giant bird-cage, in a lot of environments to add spectacle. Jurassic World shows much the same… adjusted from 2001 to 2015 (over the top means so much more today).

It is hard to claim you are making any kind of serious movie when this is a shot in the trailer.

This marketing move is perplexing, given how the last film was received. While some fans enjoyed Jurassic Park III‘s ride, many wanted a return to the more intelligent Spielberg approach. Instead, audiences will be treated to Indominus Rex, the new dinosaur created by genetic modification… of all the largest and most dangerous dinosaurs into one… cause that sounds intelligent.

They should have just gone all out and added the DNA of Adolf Hitler... cause it might look cool with a mustache. — They should have just gone all out and added the DNA of Adolf Hitler… cause it might look cool with a mustache?

Indeed Indominus Rex has found itself at the center of Jurassic World’s marketing, and the controversial reaction to it. While some have expressed excitement, others have voiced the same critical words that Chris Pratt’s character states in the trailer: “doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

Escalation is a typical strategy in Hollywood sequels: bigger means better. Jurassic Park has been a film franchise that has followed this philosophy with every sequel. One T-Rex became two, became a Spinosaurus, became an Indominus Rex. What’s next? Two cloned dinosaurs… are they planning to give it wings? The problem with this approach is that it all says one thing: what is there isn’t exciting without something new added. In this case dinosaurs… dinosaurs are not exciting without new and better dinosaurs. What?

Dino Riders: the logical conclusion. Also, why has no one made a Dino Riders movie yet? — *Dino Riders*: the logical conclusion. Also, why has no one made a *Dino Riders* movie yet?

Granted, the story arch of the first Jurassic Park does not lend itself well to sequel material. There is a park that makes dinosaurs, dinosaurs get out, dinosaurs eat people – cut and we’re done. It isn’t an idea that demands “what comes next?”. The Lost World tried to change the formula, adding messages of conservation and naturalism vs. profiteering… to mixed results. Jurassic World looks squarely back in the first movie’s camp, however the trailer does contain some self-awareness that may be a sign that audiences are in for a treat. After all, Jurassic Park III had no character calling out how inane its central plot mechanic was.

Director Colin Trevorrow is untested, and that can be a good thing when it comes to injecting freshness into a series. However, two recent developments have further damaged excitement towards Jurassic World. Trevorrow has already said he has no plans to return for a sequel, which can be taken as either creative vision to do something else… or the studio was less than pleased with the final product. By itself, it is easy to assume the former, until we look at the early reviews… or lack thereof. As of right now: no critical review has been received on either Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic. This is odd for a movie with such an imminent release. Pixar’s new film, by contrast, does not release until later than Jurassic World – and that already has reviews pouring in.

Time will tell what type of movie Jurassic World is. One thing seems already certain though, the Jurassic Park franchise marketing department needs to go extinct.

Unrelated note but am I the only one who also thinks these new toys are terrible? Seriously, it just looks like a mess of hard, jagged, plastic. Yeah, I want my child to play with that. I miss the old style figures.