Star Wars – Page 7 – Colin McMahon

Star Wars Episode VII vs. the NFL Draft

Posted on May 12, 2014 by Colin McMahon

What do Star Wars Episode VII and the NFL Professional Football Draft have in common? For starters, let me clarify immediately that, for the purposes of this article, Star Wars Episode VII does not refer to the movie itself, but rather to all the fan speculation surrounding it. Hopefully the movie, Star Wars Episode VII, will be nothing like the NFL Draft. Hopefully.

Two weekends ago was Star Wars Day, an unofficial holiday celebrating the creation of George Lucas’ beloved (and despised) Star Wars series. Of course, things have been slightly different recently. This marks the second Star Wars Day since Disney acquired Lucasfilm, a business move that also announced the impending release of Star Wars Episode VII. That happened in October of 2012, so there was not much information by the following May. Now, all that has changed (kinda). We have a director, we have a cast, we have theories! Interesting to note that Star Wars fans were not the only ones geeking out this month.

The NFL draft began on May 8th of this year, several weeks later than usual. Why: ratings. There is some bullsh*t “other” reason out there but really, the NFL Commissioner wanted more viewers. For those out there who do not know, the Draft is when the professional NFL teams select the promising players emerging from the college systems. In the weeks (or months) leading up to the Draft, experts sit around discussing possibilities. Which team will take which player? Which players will work out? Which players will bust? It is essentially pure speculation, backed by only the most basic logic (this logic is not an essential piece). Sound familiar?

Looks like the Star Wars geeks and the NFL jocks have something in common. They both like to speculate. These are not the only two subjects on there were speculation drives the fanbase. Any product where the information flow is not constant requires dedicated fans to fuel its interest and generate hype. Look at E3, where video game developers show trailers and fans instantly proclaim “console victory.” Remember Lost, the show that started the online craze of tracking fan theories and open speculation? Just how did Sherlock survive the fall?

If anything, the NFL Draft has a value lesson to teach these other arenas. There is money, a lot of it, to be made in speculation. Heck, pretty much all of Professional Sports commentary is just that: people sitting around discussing the odds that something might happen. Not like for just fifteen minutes either, these people make 9-5 jobs out of it.

For those out there who felt that three hours was excessive… please watch the NFL Network sometime.

With Professional Sports, there is one difference that I feel I should mention: the answer is not out there. Sure, the future will reveal everything, from who will win the next World Series to who will win the Bruins-Habs series that is happening in the NHL right now. Time is the only certainty that will remove the need for analysis and discussion. With Star Wars Episode VII: it is purely a marketing scheme. The script it out there, it exists. If J.J. Abrams felt like it, he could upload that cast reading that happened a couple of weeks ago and everyone would immediately know what would happen. But where is the fun in that?

Especially since we already know.

Star Wars Episode VII will suck. Star Wars Episode VII will resurrect the emperor. Benedict Cumberbatch will not be in Episode VII. Harrison Ford will have a co-leading role. Jar Jar Binks will not be in it.

I didn’t bother to source that last one… he just better not be.

I could do the same thing for the NFL Draft but it would be redundant. People enjoy talking about shared interests. People enjoy the excitement of what could be. People enjoy making money. This is how hype has become a business. The future will end the hype for both the 2014 NFL Draft selections and Star Wars Episode VII. Good thing we will have the 2015 Draft and Star Wars Episode VIII when that happens.

Writer's Workshop – Star Wars: the Clone Wars

Posted on April 25, 2014 by Colin McMahon

Right off the bat: I’m talking about the TV series (2008-2014), not the movie. The series is worth at least one post. The movie… we might get to that another time.

Star Wars: the Clone Wars is a fascinating and unique series. For one, it is the second animated Star Wars television series to chronicle the Clone Wars (the first can be found here, in all its glory). Arguably, this second series is far worse than the original, in terms of vision and storytelling ability. Yet it is that storytelling ability that I feel makes the Clone Wars into an interesting show. Is this the best series I’ve ever watched? Not by a long shot. That said, it is enjoyable and worth watching if you’re bored or one of those few Star Wars fans out there still brave enough to care.

What makes Star Wars: the Clone Wars interesting is its scripts. Some are pretty great (Rookies), some are terrible (Bombad Jedi) and others are a mixed bag (Cat and Mouse). Let’s talk about “Cat and Mouse” a bit more. This episode is at a level that many are in the series. Parts of it are well written. The episode introduces compelling characters, an interesting plot, and a cool action set piece. One of the best parts: Admiral Trench, this fetching fellow below.

The Separatist Army: where even spiders can become generals.

Yes, his look in a little too evocative of a certain local life form for my taste. Nevertheless, Admiral Trench is charismatic and provides and entertaining shift from General Grievous and Count Dooku (two villains who the audience know must survive the series). Yet just as the writing does something right (although credit must also be given to Dee Bradley Baker, who provided the voice) in creating Trench, it falls short in describing him. There is a scene with Republic General Wullf Yularen and Anakin Skywalker where the two discuss the evil admiral. This scene is designed to inform the audience just how dangerous Trench is. Unfortunately the dialogue isn’t great. I don’t remember the exact lines but, if you have time to watch the episode, General Yularen essentially informs Anakin that Trench beat him in the past by… beating him in the past. Trench is supposed to be a tactical genius but his tactics are never revealed. This could be due to a lack of time in the episode, or it could be that the writers didn’t feel familiar enough with military tactics to write about them, and assumed that what they had was good enough.

Equivalent: clone troopers are great soldiers. They are so skilled because they are the best soldiers in the galaxy. How did that explanation work for ya? — Equivalent: clone troopers are great soldiers. They are so skilled because they are the best soldiers in the galaxy.
How did that explanation work for ya?

When writing: research is everything. To draw an example, I highly doubt that Timothy Zahn is a military genuis but he was able to write Grand Admiral Thrawn as one (seriously, if you haven’t read those books – do yourself a favor, the are the second best thing to come from Star Wars). In addition, the episode also creates arbitrary drama between Anakin and Obi-Wan (they’re arguing about… something, I guess it’s to spice up the plot) and undoes its greatest accomplishment in its finale.

Yeah, Trench dies… or does he?!

There are a lot of episodes like this in Star Wars: the Clone Wars. As a writer, I find it fun to watch them. Many series out there reflect either superb or non-existent writing, it is interesting to find one in the middle. This allows the audience to learn: both from what is done right and what could be improved. I’m not saying to go out and write Star Wars fan-fiction in an attempt to improve the show. Just keep in mind what works and what doesn’t. This is a great show for writers, especially writers who happen to be Star Wars fans.

10 Video Game Universes that Telltale Should be Exploring that Would be More Interesting than Borderlands

Posted on March 26, 2014 by Colin McMahon

Telltale Games might be the equivalent of HBO in the video game series. That analogy could be a little poor, I do not think Telltale has the money or the fame of HBO, but they do have the best stories. Their game, the Walking Dead Season One is the best adventure game in recent times and could be a contender for the best ever. And Telltale has not stopped there. Since their explosion back into fame (after the abysmal Jurassic Park: the Video Game, which will be seen very soon), Telltale has expanded. They are currently producing two story games with two more on the way. The Wolf Among Us( from the Fables universe) is currently unfolding like an excellent crime novel with the player joyfully inhabiting a sheriff who happens to also be the Big Bad Wolf, and the Walking Dead Season Two continues all the gut-wrenching, no-winning scenarios that made the first game have such an impact. Later this year, Telltale will expand with a Game of Thrones adventure that will no doubt be filled with the sex, betrayal, and political intrigue that makes the show worth watching and the books worth reading… Telltale is also making a Borderlands adventure game…

Now I’ve never played either of the Borderlands games but I have seen enough of them to gleam that that is not a series known for its story. It is known for quirky characters and quirky guns and shooting said quirky characters with said quirky guns. Fun, to be sure, I look forward to playing them one day (I love the song that begins Borderlands 2), but I feel that Telltale is wasting their potential in terms of source material. The following are ten video game universes that would make for better fodder for choice-driven adventure games:

10. Earthbound

I’m not going to say much more about this one since I already touched upon it in an earlier article. Needless to say, Earthbound is one of the most charming role-playing game experiences to be found in earlier gaming, and it is a sad fate that it has vanished from the modern video gaming world. Since Nintendo seems to rather suicide to revival, I wish they would give the license to Telltale. At least we could finally hear Ness and Lucas brought to life, outside of punching noises.

Imagine how rich this universe would look in 3D.

9. Jade Empire

That’s right, forget Mass Effect and Dragon Age, Bioware’s worst original series would still make for better story fodder than Borderlands. If I were to describe the Jade Empire universe, I would liken it to a poor man’s Avatar: the Last Airbender. Nevertheless, there is sufficient mystery and mythology to make a worthwhile game. Heck, maybe Telltale could finally make the “philosophy” system into actual philosophy, as opposed to light side versus dark side.

Two philosophies: in one, you help an old lady cross the street, in the other you murder her and her family. Sounds like legit life perspectives.

8. Star Wars

Speaking of light side and dark side: come on. I know this is technically cheating (Star Wars is a film universe first) but there is such a rich history of Star Wars games that I feel it counts. From Knights of the Old Republic to the adventures of Kyle Katarn, Telltale could pick any time period they wished without impairing the story options. They could even set it during the prequels and give audiences the first good prequel plot (that’s right, I went there – go cry, George Lucas).

It has been too long since the last Jedi Knight game. — It has been too long since the last *Jedi Knight* game.

7. Warcraft

I’m going to blow your minds real quick: Blizzard already made a Warcraft adventure game. No, I’m not talking about World of Warcraft, I’m talking Warcraft Adventures. Never heard of it? That’s cause it was never released. Now, Blizzard games are great in every area except one: story. What’s the one thing Telltale excel at: story. Sounds like a happy marriage to me.

Man, the art design for Warcraft Adventures looked amazing. — Man, the art design for *Warcraft Adventures* looked amazing.

6. Prince of Persia

Assassin’s Creed has replaced Prince of Persia in terms of gameplay, no question. However, if one were to play the first modern Prince of Persia game again, one thing would become apparent: there’s a story there. Not just that but it’s great, it has compelling characters and a time travel mechanic that would be very interesting to incorporate into a choice-driven adventure game. Prince of Persia has no future against Assassin’s Creed, but maybe if the series were to change its identity, it could re-attract its fan base.

5. Wolfenstein

What better backdrop for an adventure game than World War II? What better World War II series than Wolfenstein? What better name for a main character than B.J. Blazkowicz? I’m not kidding, that’s his name. It’s supposed to be a serious game. Awesome.

Mecha Hitler cannot be in enough video games.

4. Dungeon Keeper

EA has done wrong by Dungeon Keeper. This newly released mobile game: they can go fornicate themselves with an iron stick. Dungeon Keeper, the first game in particular, was one of the most in-depth sandbox games ever made. Despite the fact that none of your minions talked, they all had a personality. Imagine if they did talk and you played a wonderful adventure game as the bad guy?

3. Saint’s Row

I know, you’re saying what? Let me explain: this would be the parody game, the game to mock all other adventure games. Saint’s Row has already established itself as the parody series, have you seen the intro to Saint’s Row IV (it’s amazing). Telltale is at the height of the adventure game market, meaning they have earned the right to poke fun at themselves and the industry. No better way to do that then getting personal with the Third Street Saints.

I feel that this could be the title for the game.

2. Oregon Trail

Think about it, think about what made the first Oregon Trail game so amazing. Anything could happen: someone in your party could get sick, bit by a snake, or drowned in a river crossing. You could lose the trail for a few days or get helped by Native Americans. You could shoot so many animals (SO MANY). Now imagine an Oregon Trail game where you got more direct control of your party and they were all flushed out characters. Oh, and your choices dictate if you survive or not: bitchin’.

Shoot all the buffalo. How fun (and sadly historically accurate).

1. Bioshock

Why should Ken Levine get to have all the fun? Irrational Games is gone but Bioshock can live on. It was the story that made those game so memorable in the first place. Who better to continue the legacy than Telltale Games?

Maybe Telltale will prove me wrong and Tales From the Borderlands will be riveting. I hope it is. They will be able to take all the credit (or all the blame) for whatever story they come up with though. Maybe that was the point of it all along.