Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed is a Poor Man's Mario Kart… But is that a Bad Thing?

With game releases being slow this time of year (tons of announcements, not much in the way of things to play), I have decided to try and insure that my Wii U goes at least a couple more weeks before it begins to collect dust. Sonic, in this day and age, might not be the first name that comes to mind when one speaks of extending hours spent playing video games. The once-AAA mascot has seen his name fade into obscurity over the past decade with sub-par titles such as Sonic the Hedgehog (a 2006 reboot for the 360 and PS3 that gave Sonic a human love interest… not kidding), Sonic Unleashed (he was a werewolf in that one, excuse me: werehog), and Sonic Free Riders (just no). It is with his new underdog cult status that Sonic has attempted to rebuild his legacy over the past couple years (Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations serving as beacons of hope). Simply put, when 2D platformer games go 3D, they sometimes do not have a smooth transition. Sonic is the best example of this case. He has been without identity since Sonic Adventure debuted on the Dreamcast back in 1998. It is in this spirit of seeking identity (and not finding it) that I will discuss Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed.

This game came out for everything: Wii U, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC, 3DS, Vita… literally every major platform on the market. This turned out to be a very good thing as I don’t think this game would hold quite the same appeal if it had been say a Nintendo exclusive. Why is that: because about twenty minutes in it becomes very apparent what type of game you’re playing.

Now substitute with Sonic characters and lower expectations accordingly.
Now substitute with Sonic characters and lower expectations accordingly.

This game really feels like a Mario Kart entry. From the racers to the courses to the power-ups, it has everything we have come to expect when Nintendo gets behind the wheel. However, like most of Sonic’s recent outings: this game doesn’t hold a candle to the Mario product.

Before I start analyzing the game I want to mention the name. Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, sequel to Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing. Now here’s a series with a name that just rolls right off the tongue, huh. There’s not many more ways you could screw up a title (see Wii U and Xbox One for more ways to screw up a title). Problem number one: competing brands. This problem was in some ways solved by the sequel as it removed Sega from the title. I will argue, however, that this was not the way to go. Sonic is not the name he once was: his titles are no longer synonymous with quality (if anything the opposite). Since this is a game with multiple Sega characters, I suggest simply sticking sonic to the box and calling all future entries Sega All-Stars Racing. Comes out a lot better. I don’t think I’ve said this title’s full name once while describing it in conversation (I’ve taken to simply calling it Sonic All-Stars Racing). When you’re trying to build a brand, you need a brand name. When challenging Mario Kart, you need something that encompasses the essence of the game just as quickly and easily. Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed has way too much going on to be marketable.

A title so long it is obscured by the game's roster.
A title so long it is obscured by the game’s roster.

This brings me to my next topic: the characters. We got a lot more going on than Sonic in this game. Characters from properties like Super Monkey Ball, Jet Set Radio, Nights into Dreams, Shinobi, and even Skies of Arcadia feature in the racing roster. If you are unfamiliar with all of those series… now you know why Sonic is in the title. Even Wreck-It Ralph (from Disney’s new movie of the same name) makes it into the cut. I know this is a nitpick but can I just show you Wreck-It Ralph’s racer real quick:

Wreck-It-Ralph-in-Sonic-All-Stars-Racing-Transformed

There’s nothing wrong with it. Cool little truck there. What about this though:

wreck-it ralph disney movie ralph builds racecar for Vanellope von Schweetz sugar-rush

There was an actual race car in Wreck-It Ralph, racing was actually kind of a big part of the movie. Including this racer would have been a much cooler tie-in as well as allowing Vanellope von Schweetz a roster highlight as well. Before you ask, there is no Sugar Rush stage either. Pretty disappointing use of license there, Sega. Hopefully it will feature into the next Mario Kart.

But anyway, back to the character roster. The point I’m making is that it’s kinda weak, despite the fact that it reaches across Sega’s entire library. They really don’t have the character roster the way Nintendo does. Like Mario Kart doesn’t even dip into the full Nintendo library yet it contains more racers that I would be interested to play as. God help Sega if Nintendo even decides to take the Smash Bros. series into racing games (please Nintendo, make it happen).

But racing games go far beyond their drivers. Let’s talk about the stages. This is where Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed really doesn’t measure up to the Mario Kart series. The stages kinda suck. They’re long and vibrantly colorful but too much so in both areas. Without the transforming mechanic, the race ways feel very dull (this becomes obvious in the last grand prix, which is made up of stages from the first game). Even with the transforming, I still don’t feel the same draw to the raceways. Too bad because they are doing everything in their power to be memorable. There is so much going on on the courses that it can become distracting. At one point I stopped racing because I simply didn’t know which way to go. There was no immediate road that looked more real that anything else going on in the background. I had to wait for other racers to come and crash through the wall in front of me (don’t make it so you have to crash through walls in one course in a racing game) so I knew where to go. This is not the best design.

When the races do work they are original and gorgeous.
When the races do work they are original and gorgeous.

These tracks are not horrible by any stretch. There is nothing, however, on the level of say a Bowser’s Castle or a Rainbow Road in the bunch (or even a Toad’s Turnpike). They’re all flashy so the effect kind of wears out after a while. Really I could have used one or two more down-to-earth stages to help the more epic raceways stand out. That’s enough about the courses though, got to talk about the power-ups.

The power-ups in this game are bland imitations of the power-ups in Mario Kart. Wow, that didn’t take as long as I thought. Okay I’ll go more into it. They’re not bad, they do their job. There is nothing as devilishly fun as hitting someone with lightning or dispatching the blue shell of death. Instead of that we get bees… and puffer fish… and fireworks… what do these have to do with Sega? For instance: we got a Shinobi course and racer so why is there no ninja star? Just off the top of my head right there.

I know I’ve been very negative in this review but I’m just proving a point. This game is not the AAA challenger to Mario Kart. It is, however, still a very fun racer and as close as you will most likely come to experiencing Mario Kart without purchasing a Nintendo console. So for all the Microsoft, Sony and PC owners out there who want a fun racer: this game is pretty good. For us Nintendo owners: it is enough to satisfy until the main event arrives (Nintendo is unveiling Mario Kart Wii U on June 11th, get excited).

Oh and if there was anyone out there hoping this game would be the next Diddy Kong Racing: it’s not.

Diddy Kong Racing allowed for multiple vehicle-types on the same course. Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed regulates it to sections.
Diddy Kong Racing allowed for multiple vehicle-types on the same course. Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed regulates it to sections.

Oh, one last thing to include: does it seem odd to anyone else that Sonic needs a race car to go fast? Am I the only one who wonders about that?

Thoughts? Comments? Am I full of it or onto something? Let me know now in the feedback section of this article.

Simple Yet Brilliant: Poker Night 2

Every now and then a company has an idea. An idea so brilliant yet so simple that everyone wonders: how did no one else think of that? Whether it is a correct to a common annoyance or simply streamlining current technologies into greater convenience: sometimes ideas just work. Today I’ll be talking about one such idea. Poker Night 2 from Telltale Games. Yes, a poker game. Don’t switch websites, let me explain.

Who out there is a fan of sports video games? Okay next question: are you actually that good at sports? For myself, I was a huge fan of Madden long before I ever played football (and when I did, I was nowhere near as talented as those pixels). Point being: you don’t have to be a professional athlete to enjoy sports games. Indeed that is a huge part of their charm. Does it help to know the game: yes. That’s it though, and even then it’s just a rule set. Gamers figure those out all the time.

“But Colin, poker is not a sport.”

No it’s not. For all the competitiveness and talent required, poker is a game that anyone can play with a deck of cards. So why am I hocking a poker video game at you? True anyone can play regular poker but Poker Night 2 is a high-stakes poker simulator. I don’t know about you but I don’t have $20,000 of real money to throw down every time I play. Even if I did, I’m such an addict that I’m glad the dollars in Poker Night 2 aren’t real. Oh, did I mention you play against fantastical characters from your favorite shows, movies and video games?

The cast of Telltale's Poker Night 2
The cast of Telltale’s Poker Night 2.

That’s right. In this game you’ll match poker skills against Brock Sampson (the Venture Bros.), Claptrap (Borderlands), Ashley Williams (Army of Darkness) and Sam (Sam and Max: Freelance Police). Oh and GLaDOS (Portal) is the dealer. Try playing against these people in real life. Rest assured, everyone besides Ash speaks with their correct voice. I should mention that, despite lack of Bruce Campbell (seriously what else did he have to do?), Danny Webber does an excellent impression and most of the time I couldn’t tell.

Anyway, this is a brilliant idea. Who can honestly say they’ve never fantasized about being friends with a fictitious character (Dinobot from Beast Wars and I are besties, if only in my head). While you might not be friends in this game, you’re still playing poker with some awesome people. Is it all make believe: of course. Thank god for that because I’ve gone through $500,000 dollars against these assholes so far.

Every character is brought to life with their exact personality from the original source.
Every character is brought to life with their exact personality from the original source.

Telltale should be commended for their effort here. I should say right now that I am not an expert poker player but I have played games before in real life. While you play in a fantastical setting, the game does appear to be a fairly good and realistic poker simulator as well. Again I won’t say that it’s the best (I’m not a tournament player or anything so I don’t know) but it felt like I was playing poker – and that is an accomplishment.

Like every good idea, there is room to grow. I don’t know about anybody else but after a few hands, I was already picturing who I would want in the next game. Oh, I should also mention right now that, as of this moment, I have not played the first game, Poker Night at the Inventory, yet but it is a video game that has my interest.

Telltale's Poker Night at the Inventory, right to left: Max (Sam and Max: Freelance Police), Strong Bad (Homestar Runner), Heavy (Team Fortress 2) and Tycho (Penny Arcade).
Telltale’s Poker Night at the Inventory, right to left: Max (Sam and Max: Freelance Police), Strong Bad (Homestar Runner), Heavy (Team Fortress 2) and Tycho (Penny Arcade).

Maybe this only appeals to geeks, but I can’t wait to see what additional characters come into being in the later installments. I am also rooting for this series to be financially successful enough to warrant said future games (in case you hadn’t picked up on that). Here are just a few ideas for Telltale, if they are listening. I have included my top three for each category (note: feel free to skip the following paragraph, it is pure fanboy wishful thinking).

Movies: James Bond (obviously), Agent Phil Coulson (probably the easiest character to get from the Marvel Cinematic Universe),  and Indiana Jones (again, obviously). Television shows: Sterling Archer (as good as Brock Sampson was, this guy would be better), Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch’s likeness from Sherlock would be wonderful to take money from), and Bender (another obvious choice). Telltale games (so far each Poker Night has featured at least one character from Telltale): Guybrush Threepwood (the original Captain Jack Sparrow), Bigby Wolf (good way to promote their new Fables game), Gerry Harding (just to give the poor characters from Jurassic Park: the Video Game some redemption). Valve Corporation (each game has also featured at least one character from Valve): Anyone from the Left 4 Dead series… that’s easy. Video games: Jack (really anyone from the Mass Effect Trilogy crew would be awesome – except Jacob.), Andrew Ryan (cause Bioshock‘s intelligence needs to be taken down a peg), Duke Nukem (he needs to be redeemed as well). And last but not least – misc gaming world celebrities: Yahtzee (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation), Korey (http://spill.hollywood.com/), and the Angry Video Game Nerd (http://cinemassacre.com/).

People are already making such crazy dreams a reality - thanks to the wonder of modding.
People are already making such crazy dreams a reality – thanks to the wonder of modding.

There is a criteria for their selection. Part of the reason why Poker Night 2 works so well is that you believe every one of these characters would actually play poker. During development, Telltale had originally intended to put up someone other than Sam. The first plan was to include either Doc or Marty from Telltale’s Back to the Future video game. Really though – could you see Doc or Marty gambling and drinking? Ouch, right in the childhood. Their next plan was to use someone from their recently released The Walking Dead. God, how horrible would you have felt taking money from one of those poor bastards? The point is: Telltale has a plan for these games.

Wonderful gameplay mechanics include unlockables that can change the cards, chips and even whole backgrounds.
Wonderful gameplay mechanics include unlockables that can change the cards, chips and even whole backgrounds.

I only have one idea for improvement going forward. If there is a Poker Night 3, it would be nice to increase the table. Maybe six opponents instead of four? Or a pool of six and four are chosen every time that way conversations are less likely to repeat (it does happen fairly fast, although I’m still hearing new stuff after several hours). Other than that: more unlockables, more challenges and increase the poker simulator (if it even needs it – I don’t know).

This is a great idea. Bring together fantastical characters who we admire and enjoy and make us all poker buddies. Well played, Telltale, well played.

Available now on Xbox Live, Steam (for Windows users) and PSN. Go buy it, you won't regret the decision.
Available now on Xbox Live, Steam (for Windows users) and the PlayStation Network. Go buy it, you won’t regret the decision.

Thoughts? Comments? Am I full of shit or onto something? Let me know now in the feedback section of this article.

If Grand Theft Auto IV was a Ten, Saints Row the Third is at least an Eleven

Let’s take the clocks back to 2008, more specifically April 29, 2008. Grand Theft Auto IV, the juggernaut, the first true successor to Grand Theft Auto III, the first Rockstar title on the then new generation consoles (that people cared about, sorry Rockstar Table Tennis), an all around huge deal. Everyone was excited an with good reason. Not only was it a new Grand Theft Auto but it was receiving such enormous critical praise. A+ from 1up.com, 10/10 from Edge magazine, 10/10 from Game Informer, 10/10 from IGN, 10/10 from Gamespot… I could keep going but you get the picture. Grand Theft Auto IV wasn’t reviewed as a good game or a great game, it was billed as a perfect game. So yeah, people were understandably pumped. Then it came out and we all got our hands on it and it was… good.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed what I played of Grand Theft Auto IV but that’s just it: I didn’t even beat this game. The story wasn’t strong enough to pull me in and motivate me through it. Well, it might have been if not for all the bogus side quests that filled Grand Theft Auto IV. I’m talking the whole character reputation system: the fact that you had to keep doing really stupid things with cousin Roman, a character who was spectacularly annoying. Seriously, it’s GTA IV, I didn’t spend 60 bucks to take Niko’s idiot cousin bowling. But the game is full of such instances and really, none of them are that fun.

The problem caused an abrupt shift in tone. Grand Theft Auto IV had a dark, at least semi-serious tone with gameplay that was anything but. Ever tried to drive around the city without crashing into anything? It’s really hard, much harder than killing thirty gangsters in a firefight or flying a helicopter. in other words, almost as hard as bowling. Yeah GTA IV operates under different rules than the real world, certain things are just harder to do.

Scenes like this were common and prevented any serious tone.
Scenes like this were common and prevented any serious tone.

Now did this make Grand Theft Auto IV a bad game? No, it was still really fun and possessed many gameplay mechanics that were cool to fool around with. I have very fond memories of the multiplayer in GTA IV. My point is: it wasn’t perfect yet the “critics” bilked it to us as such. This is not the only time this has happened. Like it or not, there’s a lot of money that go into AAA games and sometimes part of that dough is spent paying off the reviewer. I’m not just being paranoid. Gaming sites like Giant Bomb were founded because of this occurance (Jeff Gerstmann, the founder, was fired from Gamespot for giving Kane & Lynch: Dead Men a bad review when he wasn’t supposed to).

So let’s fast-forward a few years to late 2011 and the release of Saints Row the Third. For any out there who don’t know, the Saints Row series is very similar to the Grand Theft Auto series. Both are large, open-world sandbox games that pit the protagonist in the role of someone constantly subverting the law. The difference: GTA IV tired to be serious while Saints Row the Third features Burt Reynolds as Mayor Burt Reynolds. Also while GTA IV made you do bowling and dating side missions, Saints Row the Third is happy to give you a tank and let you rampage to your heart’s content. Point is: Saints Row the Third knows exactly what it is and it all the more fun for it.

Now, what kind of reviews did Saints Row the Third get? Pretty positive. The game posted an 84 overall on metacritic and gamerankings. It did not, however, have any notable 10/10 reviews. This is fine because Saints Row the Third is not a perfect game by any stretch (there’s several bugs involving your “homies” that can really screw up missions). It is, however, a far more even experience than Grand Theft Auto IV, featuring more engaging gameplay and a much more consistent tone.

You can ride a hoverbike and be chased by a laser-shooting jet cause why not?
You can ride a hover bike and be chased by a laser-shooting jet cause why not?

So where’s the love? Nah, I’m just kidding. It’s better that games like Saints Row the Third get rated as they deserve and not as the marketing dictates. Luckily we have moved away from the days of constant 10/10 reviews for AAA games. Does it still happen? Sure but not nearly as frequently. This is a good sign that we, as consumers, have grown more intelligent in our approach to game reviews. Here is a good piece of advice: don’t believe any 10/10 reviews. That implies perfection and I don’t think I’ve ever played a perfect game.

You can also jump kick a guy in a hot dog suit. Yep.
You can also jump kick a guy in a hot dog suit. Yep.

So if you have any cravings for a GTA-style game to hold you over until Grand Theft Auto V‘s release, do yourself a favor and play Saints Row the Third. It is an example of a superior game with inferior dollars. While it may not have been a AAA release like Grand Theft Auto IV was, it still has something that game didn’t. Well it has a lot of things that game didn’t, ninja gangsters for one thing. And there’s not a bowling alley in sight.

No Roman, let's not.
No Roman, let’s not.

Thoughts? Comments? Am I full of shit or onto something? Let me know now in the feedback section of this article.